[Systemz]

My friend had a cat that when you pissed it off it would make a jump for your left eye - always the left eye. One day he showed up to class with an eyepatch over his right eye. I asked him what had happened, and he explained that the night previously he had crawled home in a drunken stupor and thought it would be fun to piss of his cat - so he covered his left eye with his hand, and zapped his cat with one of those flyswatters that uses static electricity - so the cat saw him covering his eye and just jumped at the right - he was so surprised he never had a chance - and the cat bit him right on his eyelid - it nearly punctured right through. He spent the night in emergency.