[Zbu Manowar]

I've been watching the cartoon series Saturday nights on Cartoon Network and despite the show holding up better than I expected, there were a few problems. A few problem Joes.

Quick Kick, I'm looking in your direction.

The problem with Quick Kick is that he's obviously the first choice for the Joes' version of Storm Shadow, i.e. the ass-kicking mad karate skillz master of Judo/Kung Fu/various forms of kicking ass. While he has an attempt at good character design with the sash that holds a bunch of crazy throwing devices and a sword, he has a few problems. Mainly, he quotes movies like a fag and his costume is a pair of pajama pants.

The man is a sorry fucker. His perchant for quoting movies makes him look like a sorryass Pat Morita. Come on, I know Karate Kid was a big thing, but making Quick Kick (or Suck Dick as he should be known) Storm Shadow's nemesis is just sad. Fortunately for all of us, the creators realized this and created Snake Eyes: a man who always dressed head to toe and who just shut up.

So, Quick Kick, welcome to the land of the Gracefully Forgotten Joes. Anybody else got any Joes they should be relegated to that big toybox in the sky?

Next up on my list: Alpine(?).