Ok, after checking thoroughly that no ass, no nipples and no wee-wee make a guest star appearence I finally post this.
Most probably this is my last entry, because I doubt I'll get the raccon and the dead rats on time.
The Ew-Man
His first memories are of him inside a blue plastic bag, two bricks...in a river.
After being saved (presumably by a raccoon and some dead rats) he decided to love and kill every human he could, for love is pain and heart failure.
Dressed with a loincloth and wrapped with the very same bag he was thrown to the river, he kills anyone near enough with his sock full of...yes, the bricks he was thrown to the river with.
He lost his nipples in a raccoon accident and has some tape over the holes in order not to look gross.
He doesn't knw the different between good and evil, though he's pretty sure a V and a couple of O's are involved.
His name is an abreviation to Matthew, but instead of taking the "matt" part, he took the last bit.
If you see him on the street, you better run, because he's awfully slow. Otherwise he won't doubt to kill you with his mighty sock of power. And he's not jocking, he'll kill you. He would shit you not.