[Aaarg]

haha, no, the cave i worked at was too sandy so we didn't have stalagmites and stalactites (well, there was a few, but not anywhere people could ever go). we told everybody they could touch anything they wanted (except bats). i think a lot of people were disappointed because it wasn't all shiny stuff with crazy shapes, but whatever. fun anyway!

i don't recall any claustrophobic people on any of my tours. i had a guy that asked for the quickest way out when his girlfriend had to take a shit. i told him the way and a few minutes later somebody dropped a real stinker in one of the side passages near the exit. when i got out of that tour, my boss called me over, "did you notice anybody leave the group and come back?" "no, why?" she got close to me because it was busy, "somebody shit in the fuckin' cave!" that was a day!

my favorite tours were the ones late in the day, just before closing time, when some couple would come in and they'd end up getting a private tour. then it's more conversational than just relaying information people don't really care about.

this cave was about 1/3 developed, so we also had "wild tours" where people would have to wear a helmet and bring a flash light and get to crawl around and get muddy and stuff. that was fun, but i didn't get to do it too often (low on the totem pole!). one time i ended up taking some dude and his two kids on a caving tour, that was fun.