[mburbank]

Okay, now, I like a good sissy slap fest as much as the next guy, but the only thing more pansified than a Lord of the Rings paralell is getting all huffy over a Lord of the Rings paralell.

The movies are great, but they've legitimized a whole poncey anal-retentive nerdiness that should stay closeted. Time was if someone talked about how they spent the summer learning elvish or bragged about an all night bull session discussing which of their friends would be most succseful carrying the One Ring, you slammed them as hard as you could in the face, even if you yourself really, really liked the books. And you know what? They thanked you for it, because they knew in their hearts they needed it.

But if you found out that no one even mentioned you in that bull session, let alone made some comment about how close to Mount Doom you'd get or which supportinmg character you might be, and your face went all red and splotchy and you yelled a lot and called them names and then went home and cried? Then after you punched them in the face you had to kick tem until their lungs filled up with fluid.