[Schimid]

Boy, do I have some horror stories for you guys.

So in my search for a single decent random versus game, I came across a team that was strangely competent. Even on Expert mode, me and my two human comrades were escorting our AI Francis with incredible efficiency, making it so far as the second staircase without a scratch. 100 health all around.

...Until, like awaking from a dream, Francis is handed off to JohnnyComeLately53, realizes he has the shotty instead of the uzi (the horror) and subsequently retreats back up the previous staircase without telling anyone. He's immediately smoked and our Louis diligently runs back up the steps to rescue him--and Louis is smoked. This leaves the Zoey and I to the mercy of a Boomer that has suddenly veered around the corner. He vomits on both of us and a hunter pounces me while Zoey tries to fight off the impending horde. Needless to say, we die, and I quit.

THEN.

THEN.

Then I'm on ANOTHER server, this time with another team of dimwits. We make our way down the first staircase and are knocked around a bit--expert mode again. Our human Francis is knocked onto his back and I dutifully run over him to pick him up. On my way over, I spot a Boomer coming our way from the other room. I drop Francis and melee the Boomer...he stumbles backward, incapacitated for the moment. I steady my shotgun for the killing blow after he's done stumbling. I wait. I wait.

Well Francis must not have known what the hell I was doing, as he made it a point to empty an entire pistol clip into the Boomer before he was done stumbling. Needless to say, we're both splashed and I leave yet another team to die.

Why don't I fit in?

EDIT - I forgot to mention the only thing keeping me from hating this game is Francis, who, I don't know if you've noticed, hates fucking everything.

Subways, bridges, zombies, elevators, hospitals, vans, everything.

I sincerely think there's a randomized line of dialogue specifically coded for Francis to say he hates the subject of the previous sentence. It's great and I love him.