Here are my pictures. I would have posted them sooner, but I didn't receive my package until December 24th and I was busy with holiday stuff after that.
So here they are:
Oh boy! A package from Microshock! Can't wait to see what's inside!
Wait...I don't understand. It's as if a Goodwill truck vomited its terrible contents into a box...this can't be right...
Here's a comic about a mother who jumps off a building because I guess she should have had an abortion or something. It's all downhill from here, folks.
Oh, look! A DVD about pregnant pilates and a pacifier! How strange! Oh wait, I get it! This is
hilarious, because I am not a woman, nor am I pregnant! Thus, receiving such things is
absurd! How
delightfully ironic! Comedy! Oh ho ho! I don't know what I was supposed to do with these. Stuff a pillow in my shirt and take a photo of myself practicing pilates along with the DVD? Go to a rave while wearing the pacifier? Perhaps we'll never know.
Some latex gloves (for cleaning, not "up the butt" stuff, you pervy pervs!) and a "Fashion Girl" doll. Again, hilarious because I am not a girl! I am an adult male! How wonderfully "off the wall" this is! But the gloves will be useful, as I am in the process of moving and have to clean the kitchen and bathroom before I leave my current apartment.
A Santa Claus hat and some kind of foot scrubber thing.
Some kind of Shrek shower scrubber thing, which I have to admit, looks pretty funny. And some doggy chew toys.
Always funny. Or so I've heard. They squeak, and squeaking is funny, am I right guys?
And finally a purple mirror, some teeny little dinosaur thing, and a gay pirate with some bizarre skin disease.
I would have liked to have come up with some kind of photo story for this shit, but I've got nothing, as these are some of the crappiest Secret Santa items I could imagine. I also seem to recall that we were supposed to spend between $15 and $25 on this. There are about ten items here that almost certainly came from the Dollar Store, so being
extremely generous we could say they have a net worth of $10. However, a couple items like the little green dinosaur and the pacifier were almost certainly less than that.
So not only was my package sent late, but it appears to have been sent "on the cheap" as they say. And normally one could say "oh, but it's the thought that counts". To which I will point out that obviously no thought whatsoever went into these items. I don't mean to be a party pooper here, but since my Secret Santa was already "on notice" for being the last person to send their package, I guess I'm extra annoyed. Am I being too harsh here? I'm not trying to get the guy banned or anything. Just trying to make a point, I guess.
Fortunately as I mentioned before, I am in the process of moving to a new house, and I've been making plenty of trips to the Goodwill truck, so I don't exactly have to go out of my way to drop these off where they belong.
That's two years in a row I've gotten screwed by the I-Mockery Secret Santa event (last year by Noob not taking pictures of the stuff I sent, and never responding to any messages about it). This will be the last year I waste my time and money participating in this event. Ho ho ho.