[Jeanette X]

-YOU HAVE ASPERGER'S SYNDROME! GO GET HELP ON HOW TO DEAL WITH IT!

-The birth control pills are making you gain weight. Ask the gyno for another kind.

-The world isn't out to get you, you're having a serious reaction the cymbalta. Get back on luvox.

-Don't pick those dandelions. Mom might like them, but they'll make you sneeze and you're eyes will itch and swell so badly that you'll barely be able to see by the time you get home. You're allergic to them, stupid.

-Buy an epililator. The depilitory will burn your face, shaving will irritate it.

-You and him are only together because you're both desperately lonely, not because you make a good couple.

-Make plans for grad school earlier, so you don't end up working retail for over a year after you get rejected. And don't blow off that stupid health class you had to take just to graduate, it'll fuck up your GPA.

-Do lateral raises with your weights, they'll help the problem with your shoulders far more than any of that bullshit with the stretchy band that the physical therapist told you to do.

-Go ahead and punch out the stupid bitch. You're too young to get a criminal record, you're strong enough to take her, and people won't fuck with you anymore if you beat her senseless in the hallway. Bite her too, for good measure.