[MLE]

TRUE STORIES FROM THE CALL CENTER CHRONICLES:

One time this lady was on my line because she hadn't paid her bill ("I JUST PAID YOU ASSHOLES TWO MONTHS AGO AND NOW YOU'RE SHOVING YOUR STINKING GREEDY HANDS BACK IN MY POCKETS AGAIN I HAVE TO CALL YOU EVERY MONTH COME ON NOW STOP SENDING ME BILLS AND GIVE ME FREE CABLE".) Normally this would have just been one of maybe three calls a day that I get like this, but she was abnormally rude and had profanity diarrhea of the mouth. When she got to a point that I had to start "Ma'am"ing her, she eventually said "And WHY you call'n me MA'AM?! MAH name's vahLENcia."

It took me every ounce of control I had not to call her Ms. Orange.