[Sethomas]

Some ideas of humor I've recently had, in whatever seems to you the most appropriate mode of presentation:

1. In the 15th century, two young folk (one of each gender) speak of courtly love in contrast to their sexual exploits. The squire wants to seem worldly and experienced, yet still live up to the ideals of chivalry which had actually died out by the previous century. The maiden impresses herself as being utterly naive and vulnerable. When the subject of unicorns comes up, it is noted that they can only be touched by a virgin. Eventually, a unicorn appears. It takes kindly to the young man, who insists to it that he's not a virgin, but nevertheless the unicorn nudges him and demands attention. When the damsel, having proven her impurity, tries to handle the unicorn she is impaled nonchalantly by the beast's horn.

2. I once was told that the mayor of NYC once banned films from being made in the city that depicted it in a less-than-sparkly image. This happened after movies like Taxi Driver and such made NYC of the 70s appear almost as terrible as it actually was. The ban was in place for decades, and was actually cited as a reason for which the city saw a dramatic decrease in crime.

Anyways, the fact that it's a flagrant violation of artistic expression made me ask, "would this fly in the midwest?" The only way to find out, then, is for major film makers to create a number of heinously violent films in the same midwestern city. I think Muncie, Indiana deserves it. (I fucking hate Muncie.) Violent titles will come out regularly, all set in Muncie. The plots won't need substance, they'll simply need to scare the shit out of anyone who wants to visit the hometown of Jim Davis and alma mater of David Letterman. After a few years, we should evaluate the kinds of legal sanctions Muncie puts into place to offset their losses.

3. A parody of the popular Vlog series, "Quarterlife". It will be "Quarterlife: 867 AD" and will feature an illiterate 7-year-old peasant of the Western Realm of the Holy Roman Empire. She recounts the tribulations of viking raids and such to the only audience that will listen, a family sheep that is slaughtered and eaten in the final episode.