[Sethomas]

Lately I've taken to appropriating very cliché offensive jokes by repeating them with a punchline that doesn't operate by actual humor, it just throw off the audience by being offensive in a different light and they weren't expecting it. It really only works when the audience knows the actual punchline, but even so they're usually obvious from the direction of the jokes.

What do you call a black man with two masters degrees and a PhD?
-An Affirmative Action mooch!

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
-A pizza has never instigated a brutal cultural apartheid against the Palestinians!

One day a priest was hearing confessions and all of a sudden he got an emergency phone call and had to leave. He didn't want to leave his parishioners without a chance to say confession, so he grabbed a visitor to the area and asked him to stand in behind the confession screen. The man obliged and the priest gave him a list of common penances for common sins. This went well for three confessions, but the fourth confessor said, "Forgive me father for I have sinned. I performed a blowjob on a married man." Because oral sex was not on the list, the man excused himself for a moment and in a frantic panic asked an altar boy what the priest usually gives for a blowjob. The altar boy said, "Well, usually three Hail Mary's and an Our Father, but that's just because he's really old and too out of touch with reality to know what that means."