[Sarcastro]

Let us link arms and take a merry jaunt through the many wonderful things Joe Straczynski has added to the world of Spider-Man!

He had Peter grow up, develop as an adult with actual responsibilities, and make use of his super-smartness by becoming a science teacher. GONE.

He had MJ and Aunt May appear as real grown-ups, capable of insight and decisive action, rather than being tits on legs and a senile old woman for kidnapping by the villain of the week. GONE.

He gave Peter's powers much greater depth than Stan Lee's generic 'radiation did it!' origin would lead one to believe possible, delving into a supernatural world that Peter was unprepared to deal with and offered great possibilities to new adventures. GONE.

He added a few new powers to Peter's repertoire, none of which he had any particular opportunity to explore before the giant Civil War turd hit the faces of Marvel readers. Well worry not, true believers, because now those powers are GONE.

He had Peter and MJ reunite after a long separation in their marriage, and he had them do it in a very realistic manner. Each of them acted awkward and unsure around the other, old hurts plainly on their minds, trust not easily returning to their relationship. GONE.

He had Aunt May learn Peter's secret identity, and for the first time in her withered, ancient life, she didn't just spout off some stupid shit about 'that awful Spider-Man!' Like a thinking, rational person, she spent an issue talking with Peter, came to grips with new and shocking facts, and got on with her life with a new, honest relationship with Peter that wasn't nearly as one-dimensional as when she was too unobservant to notice the guy living in her house running out to fight crime every day. GONE.

But not all is lost, dear fans! Thanks to more of Quesada's invaluable editorial leadership, one sterling nugget has remained through these trying times!

Gwen Stacy still gave Norman Osborn a pity-fuck and popped out two of his kids.

EXCELSIOR!