[Zhukov]

So at work today I was trying to get the attention of someone while they were talking to someone else. I was doing the whole "cough cough" thing in a rather obvious way, but she was pretending not to notice me and I had to cough louder and also in a slightly more humorous way. Unfortunately my boss walked past me so I had to quickly pretend I was coughing for real, and I started pretending I was having a bit of a coughing fit. This turned into a real coughing fit because I was pretending so well, and I was doubled over and spluttering for a good few minutes.

While I was having the real coughing fit the bit between my testicles and anus got a sharp stab of pain (the muscle (?) inside, not the skin), and it lingered for a minute or two after I managed to control my fake to real coughing.

What the hell is wrong with me on many different levels?