Not that this has, uh, happened to anyone I
know or anything....ahem....
Something that hasn't yet been mentioned (at least not what I saw skimming 4 pgs of posts) is this:
If you have been speaking a great deal about your medical school plans, and you're in a relationship with a certain type of person, that person has a way of....
speculating. If you know what I mean. A way of looking into the future and seeing a hardworking doctor, equipped with significant other who reaps status, security and cash for no particular reason other than that they're affiliated with you.
I was in an eerily similar position at about your same time in life. I was taking medical school classes pre-MCAT by special permission. I was on the Dean's list almost every semester and doing great. And the person I was with was...well, more or less there. Sorta.
I was stupidly flattered to have anyone at all, due to my whole self-loathing thing, and willingly overlooked all sorts of glaring problems with the relationship. Not the least of these was his propensity to talk about his future as a "house husband" and "working from home". I disregarded these warning signs and assumed he was going to educate himself, get his degree and certifications, and that never happened.
Matter of fact, as the years went by he lost job after job, was pretty much the exact opposite of reliable, and clearly did not give a rat's ass about my various medical emergencies. My family was far more gracious than they should have been.
Long story short, when my health deteriorated to the point that I had to leave medical school to work and keep my insurance, and later when I had to leave work altogether, he was
not there for me. As a matter of fact, when I could no longer make sure the bills were all paid, he didn't "love" me anymore and routinely threatened to leave. I was dumb and naive and tried to salvage the relationship, but it wasn't happening. When I could no longer
provide money, he
took it. That's a very long story and since it wound up in court I probably shouldn't go into it here.
Here's the condensed version: he was "there" when he thought I was going to be a doctor with a secure future and lots of cash. When that didn't work out, he wasn't "there" for me anymore and my life became a prolonged living hell. He was never there for ME at all, just himself, trying to stick it out and watch an investment grow.
The uninitiated have no idea of the massive student loans and life-drain that medical school entails. They don't know how deep in debt most newly-minted physicians start out. They have a dim, underpants-gnome understanding of the situation: Step 1, attach yourself to doctor-to-be. Step 2..............Step 3, biiiig profit.
The last thing in the world you need, going into surgery to get a tumor removed and worrying about all
those implications, is going in worrying that the person in the waiting room is not worried about you but where their future security will come from. I've been there and trust me, you don't want that. You really don't want that.
Just some things to think about.