Quote:
Originally Posted by Misdemonar
think mashing up 1st person and narration would be a good idea?
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I found it clumsy, occasionally jarring but mostly muddled.
Is your keyboard broken or are you attempting some motif with the recurring lack of 'M's?
You have the start of something that could go somewhere, but you have to be sure you have a place to go. Your descriptions are interesting, and I have a sense of a place and it's people,
but it needs more.
I suck at rev
iews. :x