[MetalMilitia]

Last night I went out for a friends birthday got completely wasted (tequila was involved) then tried to walk home - a distance of probably 10+ miles at 4am. During this trip some twat fitting my description robbed a news agent which I must've passed at some point because a sniffer dog tracked me for an hour before I was eventually found by a police car and interrogated (I say interrogated, they asked for ID and that's about all I remember). I think they realised that I was physically incapable of robbing anyone and left me to continue the walk/stagger home.

Funny thing is my description - which was supposedly the same as the robber's - was as follows: cammo shorts and and an amusing cat t-shirt from StuffOnMyCat.com.
I find it quite difficult to believe anyone else within many hundred miles would be wearing this combination of things being that it was a fucking cold morning.

I almost made it home but by about 7am I was so miserable I phoned my girlfriend and begged her to pick me up. It was either that of go to sleep on a bench by this point.