[MockMeAmadeus]

Once upon a time, I ended in a local whorehouse with some of my buds. Drunk as skunks we were. We summarily each paid the equivalent of 90USD for some gooood times. We were allowed 1 hour for some real special Loveline commitment and sloppy sex. I ended up with ‘swamp donkey’ and before you could say “True Bedroom Stories (Virgins come take notes)” she was naked and laying on the bed. I couldn’t vouch for her ‘bedroom eyes’ ‘cause I was doing a rap dance trying to get rid of my clothes. I was falling all over the place. We started what could only resemble a poorly constructed wrestling match on WrestleMania23. After several belly flops and ‘kick her in the crotch’ manoeuvres, she, yes SHE, decided it was time (that damn ‘kick her in the crotch’ move has cost me since) to do IT. She grabbed me bone with all the intent and purpose to do something serious with it. The problem was that it was no BONE. Nothing Nada. It would have made the website of Men’s Clinic International look prestigious!

Anyways, trying to get some dignity back, I suggested that she play with herself while I watch, in the hope it would, you know, sort of assist in this delicate matter. With a look of disgust (or was that a gleam in her eye?) she did just that. Even that couldn’t restore my ‘manhood’. Before the hour was up she must have sunken at least twice into post-masturbation bliss! I was still sitting there trying to focus on the emergency number for Men’s Clinic International. Wells, my hour was up and she politely (or was that a look of disgust?) ushered me out of the room.

It was only the following morning that I realize that I, yes I, actually paid a lot of money to a skunk whore to play with herself! I have never been the same again. This makes me sad.