[Kitsa]

I never had any good drunk stories. I just fall asleep.

I do have one about a great-aunt of mine who used to go around tanked all the time, at least from what I've been told. She showed up at my grandmother's house one time late at night drunk as hell, in a nightgown, in a floor length fur coat with a little dog under each arm and her pockets stuffed full of valuables. When my grandmother opened the door, my great-aunt said, "My house is burning down, I need to stay here for a while."

After my grandmother let her in and spent a couple of hours assuming that she was having some sort of alcoholic hallucination, people finally started calling her house trying to track down the aunt. Turned out that her house was really burning down and she must have just put on her coat, grabbed her dogs, turned around and walked off. They thought she'd died in the fire.