[kellychaos]

Dear Mr. Chojin,

I would like you to shave off all your body hair except for a pink, highly gelled sprout of hair protuding from the crown region of your scalp. I would then like to dress you in an extra tight pair of blue, plaid, daisy-due shorts and neon pink sandles. I may also have to add a pink leather harness to the ensemble but would have you wear it only around areas of heavy automobile traffic and people you don't know. For my part, I will carry around a man-purse filled with high protein Chojin snacks and a plastic sippy cup emblazened with your theme of choice. If all goes well with the program, I expect to be on Letterman's stupid human tricks inside of three months or so ... perhaps a joint DDR venture betwixt the two of us. Am I being too forward?

Awaiting your response,


Kellychaos XXX OOO