[bigtimecow]

time for my favorite / least favorite drunk story regarding myself, which i may or may not have told on this board before:

my friend chris' family owns a cabin up in vermont and every winter he grabs a handful of friends to stay there for about a week and just party all week. three years ago was my first time going and with me i brought my girlfriend of the time, sandra, and our friend kayla. the week is going great, drinking every night, taking a trip into canada, listening to metal at absurd volumes; what better to do in the middle of the woods?

finally it is our last night there and i make the horrible decision of smoking a lot of pot along with playing kings and flip cup. needless to say i was horribly fucked up and don't remember much of the night except for one thing, another very very horrible decision. me and another friend on the trip, keith, start listening to killswitch engage extremely loudly and start dancing around the room, acting like absolute retards. we get through about half the album and we're both out of breath from jumping off of couches, onto eachother, etc. (gay bro shit). after this i don't remember anything except for waking up the next morning.

sleeping arrangements: a few people in the living room on the couch, couple people in the den, sandra and kayla in the king size bed with me in the same room sleeping on a fold out at the end of their bed. when i woke up the next morning no one was in the room. i walk into the kitchen and look into the living room to see everyone staring at me. i walk towards them and say "good morning?" and immediately kayla says to me "do you remember ANYTHING from last night?" i tell her that i remember going to bed at some point but that's it. her and sandra then proceed to tell me this:

i went to sleep on my fold out, they went to sleep on the bed. about an hour into my sleep i get up, pull down my boxers and begin peeing on the nightstand next to kayla's side of the bed. kayla wakes up and begins yelling at me. at this point i attempt getting into bed with her, still peeing, and apparently make it in (or at least my pee made it into the bed). sandra wakes up and also starts yelling at me while i fight with kayla to try to get into bed with her. eventually i stop and go right back onto the fold out and pass right out.

after this is told to me they bring me to the washer and dryer, where the nightstand cover, their pillow cases, and chris' parents' sheets and comforters are being washed. i am stunned. i apologize ten-fold and feel absolutely horrible while all my other guy friends there laugh hysterically because they didn't know about any of this until they woke up that morning

the worst part is, the next year we went back, and on the last night i woke up shortly after falling asleep and stood in the doorway proclaiming that i needed to pee and whoever was in the bathroom needed to get out or i was going to pee all over the carpet. the bathroom is a step away from the bedroom doorway and the door was wide open with the light off. eventually everyone convinced me that no one was in there and rest assured my pee ended up in the toilet where it belonged. however, when i woke up the next morning my friend mike first tried to tell me i was threatening to pee on him all night, which turned out to be a lie.

so, yeah. that's my prize story. any takers?