[Blasted Child]

Yeah, I definitely read it. The slideshow stuff was gripping.
I don't know if this is the right place if you want c&c, but I'd be perfectly willing to offer some, I just don't know what it is you've written.
1. You say you have a story to tell, but this isn't really a story, it reads more like a journal entry or a part of a novel. For a piece this short, you need to focus on something. Are you gonna talk about the horrors of war, or your personal disappointment for not getting to do real war-stuff, or what is it? The fact that someone made you move rocks or other quasi-tasks isn't enough to constitute a story; it's a rather trivial event that probably happens to everyone doing military service.
2. Drop most, if not all, of the army jargon. I know it's there to make it sound authentic, but it comes across as military aficionadoism at best, and generally there's just too many abbreviations and fluff to be readable.
3. Cut the clichés. As The Leader said, it reads like a bad war novel, and could be taken for a parody rather than a serious try. The ending just sounds pretentious.

But then again, the slideshow part was gripping. I think you should focus on that and give a personal, honest account, and stop pretending that you've just written the war novel of the century.