I got a package today! Well not today but I'm posting me pics today.
Sweet, I wonder what... waitaminute
WUT
WUT
DUDE
:O
I got a letter too which I will share:
"Ahoy there Alisa!
Well what do you know! You're the lucky recipient of my 2008 Secret Santa Gifts! This is an honor not unlike being elected President of the United Galaxies, so I hope you will take this matter
VERY SERIOUSLY.
Within this package, you will find two primary gifts. First off, there's the
Cocoa Krispies Haunted House Kit which includes everything you'll need to make not one, but TWO edible haunted houses. And why would you want two houses? Because gift #2 is the
Martian Matter Alien Maker Spaceship! With this amazing piece of technology, you'll be creating a metric ton of bizarre alien creatures with Lunar Lava and Martian Matter. You can then introduce these fantastic alien creations to their fantastic, albeit haunted, new homes.
I must warn you though, as you will see on the back of the box, the alien product CONTAINS WHEAT, and while that may lead you to believe they are made for consumption just like the Cocoa Krispies Haunted House, I assure you, they are not. Do not eat your alien creations...well, at least not unless you plan on recording it with a video camera and posting the footage on the I-Mockery forums so we can all laugh at you.
Here's the thing...I don't just give gifts that people can post one measly photo of and say "Here's what I got! Ok bye!" No, no, no...you're not getting off the hook that easily, ma'am. I only give gifts that are fun AND require some effort on the part of the recipient. So yes, you clearly have some craft projects to look forward to in the very near future, but trust me when I say that the rewards from having successfully built a Haunted House made of cereal and some aliens made of a strange product which contains WHEAT will last you a lifetime. Your friends will come and go, your family will disown you, even your pet(s) will run off and find a new owner...but not this little Secret Santa project. No...this is your
ROCK. This will be the one thing you can always look back on and shake your fist at the heavens as you proudly proclaim, "I DID IT!" You will always have this holiday memory to look back on, so make it count! I expect to see some
MIND-SHATTERINGLY AWESOME photographs due to the impeccable gifts I have bestowed upon you today.
Oh yeah, I also included a few extra lil' goodies in the box for you to enjoy such as some I-Mockery stickers 'n buttons and a Christmas Nerds Rope. Mmmm.
Happy holidays and I'll see ya on the forums soon!"
Coming soon: part two, where I staunchly avoid eating small candy coloured aliens that are not food items and yet contain wheat. Stay tuned!
Final thought:
I look bored but that is the best damned candy that I've had in a while.