long cold lonely winter
if i have covered this part bear with me a little bit. in the winter of 2006 i went crazy. i don't mean crazy kind of, or i felt crazy, i mean i lost it for realz.
i came awake and i was on my couch in my tighty whitey's, i had a huge erection, i was listening to Pink Floyd at very high volume, and rolling a gigantic blunt from the biggest bag of weed i had ever seen. i could see my mattress was burning in the front yard.
i tried to remember what had happened. that talking heads song with the line "is this my house?" began to play in my head. and just a little movement of my head was enough to confirm i had destroyed everything in the house.
plates, glasses, pretty much anything that could be broken was FUBAR. i had beaten my kitchen table and chairs to pieces for sins i will never remember. i wandered the house like i was having a dream, the mess was spectacular. i actually toilet papered my own house. i followed the trail of destruction until i got to my bedroom.
my room smelled. mostly cause i had put all of nancy's clothes into trash bags and then had what appeared to be explosive diarrhea in a few, and lacking anymore shit i peed in the rest. this part still makes me giggle.
i also had destroyed nancy's guitar. it was her prized possession. i had found it at a thrift store. it had been in a fire and was coated in soot. i pulled it apart and cleaned it up, and it looked and sounded beautiful in that rare way cheap instruments sometimes do. and i fucked it straight to hell. and this part still makes me giggle too.
then the phone rang. it was nancy.
"are you alright?"
"uh, i guess so." i lied.
"i just got a call that you called Jason's family at four am and said you were going to kill him."
"hmm, uh...." i hung up the phone. i remembered calling everyone in the phone book with the same last name as her new man. i also defiantly threatened to do some kind of killing
i also remembered pictures, and an excessively helpful bar tender. Her name was Trish. She had given me thirteen shots of Jaeger and shown me pictures of nancy in various stages of getting gang fucked by a bunch of dudes. this would be the first of many such events. everywhere i went at least one person would tell me yet another humiliation that i just had to know about now it was all over. Soon i will tell you the last (and worst) one of all, but this first one rocked me. the rest just made me sad.
so i look around at my world, smoke my blunt, and decide to run away from home. i leave a note for the kids, get in my car and just start driving. i want to be anywhere than my shit hole home town, i want to find some place to be alone.
instead i drive to south carolina and have extremely dirty sex with nancy's oldest, closest friend. no revenge is better than ATM with the girl your ex has always been secretly jealous of. it still makes me giggle.
more to come, it gets better.