[zeldasbiggestfan]

Originally Posted by Emu

So this week I started a job as a motel clerk at a shall-remain-unnamed chain. I've only just finished my 4th day at work and already I've had a good deal of encounters with crazies.

There's a schizophrenic fellow who comes by every day and asks for matches. We give them to him because we have a billion of the things and he generally leaves after he gets them, but not before engaging in a long string of mostly unrelated phrases with whoever happens to be behind the counter at the time. He also tries to give us money for the (free) apples on our complimentary breakfast table. (The man is very obviously homeless, but he carries around a huge wad of bills.) Yesterday he attempted to pass several slips of paper through the teller window and tried to redeem them for cash. One of them was a free day pass to a gym that's nowhere near our motel and the other was some coupon from a newspaper. Who the fuck knows where he got those? He also attempted to explain to my supervisor that he was indeed eligible to join one of our member programs and get his free 25 dollar gift card because he did, in fact, sleep at the motel last night -- he just slept in the rear parking lot. About two hours later he came back and knocked on the window, but took off running when he saw that the night security happened to be in the room and thusly chased him down. Didn't see him again after that.

This other thing is less due to craziness and more to senility, but we had an older couple and their son and daughter-in-law check in, and since they were getting separate rooms I put the two couples on separate registries. The mother had to at least be rapidly approaching her late 70's, and needless to say I was a bit shocked at how young she looked on her driver's license photo. This license was also a milky green-white color and not the tan brown ones I'm used to from this particular state. I happened to glance at the expiration date: July 2001.

I let it slide and took the ID anyway because this woman obviously was not going to cause trouble. I ALMOST brought it up, but she reminded me too much of my grandma so I just booked them anyway.

There are also several crackheads holed up in two of our rooms and have been so for 5+ days, and they don't seem to be leaving anytime soon. The dipshits keep losing their keys and one of them keeps walking around the property with no shirt on and his pants around his knees. Security threw him out last night, but he came back today and started bitching at me because he 'just got out of prison' and wasn't going to take any harassment from a 'rent-a-cop.' He came back a few hours later to get his phone turned back on and had clearly just inhaled a few minutes before headed out the door, because he was jittering and scratching like he was covered in ants.

I can't wait for them to leave.

Florida sounds nice.