[Professor Poddar]

Tex,
You're not worth spending any more time on. Consider yourself fortunate beyond all earthly measure that I, Professor Poddar, condescended, for a time, to interact with YOU. It's to be hoped that my superiority might inspire you toward, if not similarly lofty heights, then at least a bare measure of mental competence. We shouldn't hold our breath in regards to the above, but at least you have something to strive for, hmm?

A self-proclaimed victor? Splendid. Saddam Hussein announced to all who'd listen that he'd won the Gulf War in 1991, but... he didn't. I believe an aging Napoleon never admitted to defeat, even when he was scrubbing latrines in Corsican exile. But hey, if such delusional thinking got him through the day... you've not won this, and likely haven't emerged victorious from any scuffle, computer-based or otherwise, in your life.
That said, if my imminent withdrawal from this exchange makes you feel as though you've won, then I'm glad to have gilded your palm with such a guinea. Savor the taste of "victory", dear "winner". We're all very proud of you here.

(Cue imaginary pat on sadly real little head)