[James]

Thank you for your application to be a member of this board.

Unfortunately, we are not looking to hire any new dumb shits at this time, as we already have an excellent staff of simpletons who don the uniform of child harnesses and crash helmets.

We will put your application on file though, and should an opening come up, we will consider you for future employment.

Sincerely,
Jamesman

PS - I hope you die.