HEY GUYS!
HERE IS MY SUPER SECRET SANTA SEXCELLENT SELLEBRATION 2007!
IT IS LONG AS FUCK.
L
MLE: WHO GOT YOU JERK
MLE: TELL ME
Sam: :O
Sam: OKAY I WILL TELL YOU
MLE: I AM WAITING IN SUSPENSE
Sam: MLE I WILL TELL YOU BUT KEEP IT SECRETS OKAY
MLE: OKAY
Sam: I GOT
Sam: IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD
Sam: 2007
Sam: FOR I-MOCKERY SECRET SANTA
MLE: i am waiting patiently
Sam: P
Sam: O
Sam: P
Sam: P
Sam: E
Sam: R
Sam: S
Sam: 6
Sam: 2
Sam: 0
MLE: did she get you cool stuff
Sam: YES
MLE: AWESOME
MLE: TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT
Sam: WELL
Sam: THE UPS MAN
Sam: HE BROUGHT IT TO MY HOUSE
Sam: I WAS AT WORK :O
MLE: ;o
Sam: I CAME HOME
Sam: AND IT WAS THERE
Sam: AND I WAS LIKE "OH SNAP"
Sam: because I KNEW what it was
Sam: I KNEW
MLE: SO WHAT WAS INSIDE
Sam: and i was like "awsome" and I opened IT
Sam: AND THERE WAS A CARD
Sam: WITH A CANDY CANE
Sam: AND INSIDE THE CARD IT SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS SAM XOXO POPPERS620
MLE: XOXO!
Sam: ISN'T THAT LIKE SKULL AND CROSSBONES
MLE: KISS HUG KISS HUG
MLE: SHE WANTS YOU
MLE: UH OH
Sam: WHAT
Sam: WHAT UHOH
MLE: X = KISS
MLE: O = HUG
Sam: OF COURSE
Sam: LADIES LOVE SAM
MLE: ;O
Sam: HAVEN'T YOU SEEN
MLE: NO PRON OKAY
MLE: i'm on my work laptop
Sam:
Sam: THIS IS WHAT THE LADIES WANT
MLE: <3
MLE: COMPLETE WITH RE POSTER
Sam: DO YOU SEE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE I AM WINCING IN PAIN
MLE: LOOK AT ALL THOSE GAMES
Sam: THAT IS BECAUSE I AM TAKING A PICTURE OF MYSELF AND IT HURTS LIKE A KNIFE
MLE: HOW COULD LADIES PASS UP A MAN WITH SO MUCH GAME
Sam: GAME RECKOGNIZE GAME
Sam: THAT IS NOT EVEN ALL MY GAME
Sam: THAT IS BUT A MERE PITANCE
MLE: OH SNAP
MLE: ;O
Sam: SO ANYWAYS WHERE WAS I BEFORE I WENT OFF ABOUT HOW MUCH GAME I GOT
MLE: XOXO - POPPERS
Sam: OH YEAH
MLE: OH YEAH
Sam: so what is that like reverse skull and crossbones
Sam: jeez
Sam: IS SHE THREATENING ME
Sam: BUT SERIOUSLY LADIES LOVE COOL SAM
Sam: LL COOL S
MLE: haha ;o
Sam: OKAY SO I TAKE THE CARD AND I GO HOLD IT IN MY BED FOR LIKE 20 MINUTES AND JUST WEEP INTO IT
MLE: ;o
Sam: AND WHEN I AM DONE I FEEL REALLY DIRTY SO I GO TAKE A SHOWER AND HIT THE OLD EYES WITH SOME VISINE
MLE: ;o
Sam: i haven't even looked at the presents yet
Sam: MIND YOU
Sam: I am already so touched and deeply moved by this CARD
MLE: ;o
MLE: ;o ;o ;o ;o ;o
Sam: I MEAN THE CARD WOULD HAVE BEEN ENOUGH
Sam: I WOULD HAVE SAID
Sam: I YEILD
Sam: you know
Sam: I YEILD
MLE: ;o
Sam: SO'S
Sam: I LOOKS AT THE GIFTS
Sam: THERE ARE 4
MLE: ;o ;o ;o
MLE: 4
Sam: ALL WRAPPED INDIVIDUALLY
Sam: AND I SAID "FUCK I SHOULD HAVE WRAPPED MINE INDIVIDUALLY TOO BUT MY PERSON GOT LIKE 20 THINGS IT WOULD HAVE TOOK FOREVER"
Sam: I GOT 4
Sam: BUT IT IS OAKY
Sam: I OPENED THE SMALLEST
Sam: FIRST
Sam: IT WAS WRAPPED WITH SUCH CARE
Sam: I WAS TOUCHED
Sam: IN MY HEART
Sam: THERE WERE TEARS
MLE: WHAT WAS IT
Sam: IN MY EYES
MLE: VISINE TEARS?
Sam: A SMALL TIN OF HOLIDAY CHEER
MLE: ;o
MLE: COAL?
Sam: GROG FLAVORED PIRATE MINTS
MLE: OH SNAP
Sam: OH SNAP WAS CORRECT
Sam: THE SECOND PACKAGE
Sam: ALSO SMALL
Sam: BUT SLIGHTLY BIGGER
Sam: ONLY SLIGHTLY
Sam: IT CONTAINED A SMALL MOIST TOWLETTE
Sam: SPECIFICALLY FOR THE USE
Sam: OF WIPING AWAY MY SINS
MLE: ;o
Sam: GOD KNOWS I AM COVERED WITH THE FILTH OF SIN
Sam: AND SO DID THIS YOUNG KIND PERSON WHO SENT ME SUCH A THOUGHTFUL GIFT
MLE: ;o
Sam: MY SINS
Sam: MLE
Sam: COULD NOW BE RIDDEN
MLE: ;o
Sam: THE 3RD PACKAGE
Sam: CONTAINED
Sam: NOT ONE
Sam: BUT TWO
Sam: BENDY MONSTERS
MLE: I LOVE BENDY MONSTERS
MLE: SO MUCH
Sam: LORD HYDRA
Sam: VS
Sam: PRINCE REPTILLIA
Sam: BENDY MONSTERS MLE
Sam: MY BREATH
Sam: WAS TAKEN AWAY
MLE: ;o
Sam: THE LAST
Sam: THE FINAL
Sam: PRESENT
Sam: IF YOU WILL
Sam: I WILL PAUSE HERE
Sam: TO ALLOW YOU TO BUILD YOUR SUSPENSE
Sam: PERHAPS A NICE COLD BEVERAGE BREAK
MLE: i have water, thanks
Sam: THEN
Sam: THE FINAL
Sam: THE LAST PACKAGE
Sam: AS SOON
Sam: AS I HELD IT
Sam: I KNEW WHAT IT WAS
MLE: ;o
MLE: A GAME
Sam: NO
Sam: NOT A GAME
Sam: THINK OF LAST YEAR
MLE: I DON'T KNOW
MLE: I CAN'T REMEMBER
Sam: UNICORNS MLE
Sam: UNICORNS
Sam: THERE WERE UNICORNS... REMEMBER HOW CAPTAIN CAVEMAN GOT UNICORNS AND WAS LIKE "UH THIS IS GAY UH I SUCK"
MLE: ;O
Sam: SIGH
Sam: i am just oging to take our AIM conversation
Sam: make some edits
Sam: and use that for my story
Sam: and interject pictures
MLE: haha
MLE: i wasn't that interesting, though
Sam: I will edit it
Sam: and you will say
Sam: "OH SAM YOU ARE SO CLEVER AND SENSITIVE"
MLE: hahaha
MLE: go ahead
Sam: "OH SAM YOU ARE SUCH A CARD"
MLE: hahaha
MLE: go ahead
MLE: ;>
Sam: "OH SAM NO WONDER SO MANY LADIES WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND AND WALK THROUGH A PARK"
MLE: hahahaha
MLE: <3
MLE: i like these lines
Sam: "AT DUSK"
Sam: "WHILE DUCKS FLY OVERHEAD"
MLE: I AM JUST SWOONING
MLE: WITH PASSION FOR YOUR SENSITIVITY
Sam: YES INDEED
MLE: I AM OVERWHELMED
Sam: "OH SAM YOU ARE A WORD-SMITH"
MLE: MASTER OF VERBIAGE
Sam: "YOU ARE LIKE IF A BLACKSMITH USED WORDS INSTEAD OF METALS AND ORES TO MAKE WEAPONS"
Sam: "AND YOU HAVE CREATED A +3 AXE INSIDE OF MY HEART"
MLE: BUT INSTEAD OF WEAPONS, YOUR WORDS ARE THE MOST DELICATE OF JEWELS
MLE: DELICATE OF BELLS HUNG IN MY HEART
MLE: *FAINT*
Sam: "OH SAM YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE A WILD ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTION THAT SOMEHOW MAGICALLY CAN LIKE DO LOOP DE LOOPS AND BARREL ROLLS BUT ALSO IT FEELS LIKE EATING WARM CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP AFTER PLAYING IN THE SNOW"
MLE: hahahaha
Sam: "SAM YOU DISPLAY THE GRACE AND QUIET DIGNITY THAT REMIND ME OF A YOUNG RANDAL ORTON SETTING UP JOHN CENA SO HE COULD GIVE HIM AN RKO ON A STEEL CHAIR OUTSIDE OF THE RING"
Sam: "HE WAS LIKE A LION
Sam: AND A GAZELLE"
MLE: RANDALL
Sam: "I THINK HE WAS A GAZELLION"
Sam: "OR A LIOZELLE"
Sam: RANDALL ORTON
MLE: CORRECT
Sam: INDEED QUITE :POSH
MLE: POSH INDEED
Sam: THIS IS GREAT
Sam: I WILL AHVE THE MOST MAMAZING STORYT
Sam: MORE AMAZING THEN THE BOYHOOD DREAM OF SHAWN MICHAELS
MLE: AMAZING
MLE: MAH GAWD
Sam: SHE'S LIKE A TIGER RARWWRARWARRW
MLE: BRB
Sam: go ahead
Sam: wipe your nose
THE SHORT VERSION: I RECEIVED MYTHICAL ANIMALS AND GROG MINTS FROM POPPERS620. THE MYTHIC BEASTS ATE THE MINTS AND HAD A DRUNKEN ORGY. THANK GOODNESS FOR THE WIPE-AWAY-SINS TOWEL!
Thank you for awesome things Poppers!
MERRY CRIMMUS TO ALL OF I-MOCKERY!
Love, Sam