[Kybo Ren]

Ever have more fun at the movies than the movie itself? with the sad state of recent offerings this is probally so.






One time I won a free movie pass in an art contest that I wanted to use on Ace Ventura 2. It was a star movie, no passes allowed. So I had to see the other movie starring the nice man from driving miss daisy. Se7en- lucky day- my mom kept screaming!

another time my brother and I talked mom into a dollar theatre viewing of Species. "don't worry mom, Geiger designed the alien, we're here for the art!"
the only other people in the theater was a middle aged black guy with his two kids (8 or younger). this situation introduced me to black man in a theatre- it really can make a movie better! "Baby don't go in that bathroom! Nooooooooo!"

when I went to see South Park:B.L.U. I snuck a 2 lbs bag of animal crackers inside my pants( strapped the belt through the middle). the ticket taker asked "what's in your pants?" and I said "my penis". the crackers i didn't eat were thrown about the theater.

when I went to see The One (jet li)- I was fucked up. I really had to piss before the movie, but when I used the urinal, the bathroom was all cloudy and i kept coughing. I rambled something to an usher about the "shitty bathroom", and about 10 minutes into the flick the manager bursts into the theater screaming "evacuate evacuate!! staw away from the bathrooms! RUN!!!". This being shortly after 9/11, mass hysteria insued. Turned out to be a mace bomb, but I didn't get to see the One till dvd. stingy ass theater didn't even give rainchecks!