[Kitsa]

EEGs are meh.

I had an EMG last year when they thought I had permanent nerve damage from a botched spinal block. That was the fourth suckiest test I've ever experienced*, and I've experienced the biggies.

I knew I was in trouble when the doctor administering the test (red flag- when a doctor administers a test and doesn't trust a lesser clinician, expect bad things) walked in reading the instruction manual. Then he explained, as he prepped the four inch needles that were to go in "as deep as they need to", that he needed to guess where my femoral artery was because he wouldn't be able to stop the bleed if he impaled it, meaning I might bleed to death.

The needles are supposed to act as radio transmitters, reading electrical impulses through the muscles. Either he jabbed a nerve, or I got shocked by the machine, or something, because the sensation was pretty fucking horrible.

The physician who ordered the test said it's referred to as "the attitude adjuster".

*distant fourth behind aforementioned botched spinal, during which I thought the inept anesthesiologist might actually paralyze or kill me, a bone marrow aspiration with no anesthesia and a lingual thyroid biopsy with no anesthesia, during which I choked on my own blood and had to be suctioned, then was physically unable to leave the room of my own volition and had to be wheeled back to the doctor's office, where I spent an hour or so in the fetal position.