[ZeldaQueen]

Yes sir, I am asking for 3 billion dollars from Mr. Hefner. He's been after me since I was a baby, along with a pedophile organization in L.A. When I was about 5 yrs old, he mysteriously appeared under my bed and he grabbed my arm and mentioned the Beatles names. I asked him in my head, since I’m a hat, everyone in the world hears my thoughts, it’s a good way to establish peace. So I thought and said “You’d better let go of my hand”. And so I braced myself against the wall and eventually he let go. I ran into my parents’ room and told them. My adopted mother replied that it was probably my adopted dad. But it wasn’t him. It has to be telepathy, there always has been.

He’s always made my life and my adopted family’s lives a mess. You realize he’s supposed to be the centaur of the Greek gods. And I’m really a reincarnation, I really am Venus Aphrodite Demilo the goddess. And Roger Dawson is Odysseus, everyone I know knows that. And Hugh Hefner was having an affair with my adopted mother and his wife Kimberly Hefner, who was this woman who lived around the corner from us. And at 15, he tried to pick up but I wasn’t a junkie or dope addict, you know being raised by a sheriff dad.

My uncles are Bill and Jeff Mcguffey, policemen from the ‘70’s and ‘80’s. On my adopted dad’s side, I come from the rich oil family of J. Paul Getty. We were known to be a part of the John Gotti Mafia and the head hit man had an affair with my adopted mother at the same time Mr. Hefner was seeing her. My first husband was taken care of, if you know what I mean. The hit man said “If he touches you one more time, I’m getting rid of him,” when I told him this in my head. Being the hat that I am, I can tell you whatever you can ask in telepathy. I know everything when it comes to learning.

The Gotti man had my husband eat his pussy because he’s a morphodite [hermaphrodite]. Don’t ask what a “morphodite” is. My adopted dad us what they are. So my ex isn’t here, in the upper story if you get my drift.
Moe Howard, my adopted dad, worked for the republic studio Hugh made with the pedophile organization. It’s hard work. My stuff keeps disappearing and my family is jealous, but it’s Hefner’s fault.

I'll work on Page 2 today.