[Jaimas]

Can you imagine the headlines in the paper the next day? Or the discussions this police officer's co-workers had 'round the water-cooler that morning?

"You know, he always was complaining about his corns."
"Well, I always thought his jokes were corny, but this is ridiculous."

It would be an arsenal of corn puns for months. And as that first corn-pun loaded work day stretched into long, regret-filled decades, the police officer's family would uncover the horrifying truth behind the corn-murder's TRUE POWER - forcing them to face a terrible new reality where CORN IS USED AS A WEAPON ALL THE TIME FOR NO REASON and SAFETY DOES NOT EXIST.

They will think about that corncob at their weddings, and high-school reunions. They will remember it as they grow old and infirm, and as they witness the birth of their children. The nightmare of corncob-fueled murder will haunt them for the rest of their lives.