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Originally Posted by ziggytrix
I'm less concerned with the tax issues than I am with denying someone the right to see the person they've devoted their whole life to in the hospital or having some poor queer's estranged parents making life support decisions, for example, when in a straight relationship it would be the spouse.
To me, that's civil rights. And denying civil rights to someone because they are physiologically attracted to their own gender is just as oppressive as denying someone civil rights because they have a different skin color.
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IANAL but, every one of the "automatic" rights of straight marriage can be legally gained by gay couples willing to do the legwork. It's a pain in the ass, but possible. I'm bringing this up because it's an important point for any non-traditional couples to know so they don't get caught in one of the (in reality very rare) scenarios you are hinting at. Responsible gay couples should be encouraged to seek legal help in order to secure these rights in their state. The only remaining problem would be travelling across state borders with these rights intact, which is generally up to the state into which the couple has travelled. Generally, existing legal arrangements from one's state of residence are honored in a non-resident state even when contrary to the non-resident state's laws.
So, it is my understanding that the legal issues can be very much minimized... so much so that the actual denial of marriage-like rights to those that have obtained them legally outside of the automatic framework of straight marriage would be EXTREMELY rare. It will be such a rarity, and the legal battle that ensues because of it, that actually leads to nationalized recognition of gay marriage rights... in 2137 AD.
In my preferred alternate reality, people will someday soon wake up to the realization that the government has no business granting rights to people based on their behavior. We will all remember that our rights are born within us, not given to us by Uncle Sam, and we will go back to treating all disputes that do not involve the actual harm of another as contract disputes, settling them privately instead of involving government (for the most part.)