[JediScum]

That's not true. I lived in San Antonio for a year and a half. The Alamo does have a basement.

But it was, of course, filled in, because the hotels or the RiverCenter MAUL might collapse (Goddess Forbid). And then, WHERE WOULD THE TOURISTS GO? The AlamoDome? (Snort) Nobody cares about the Spurs since Dennis Rodman.

Oh, the RiverWalk! You ever smell that fucking thing in August? Trenches of chlorinated water lovingly scented with dead ducks and fish, the urine of 3 year olds, cigarette butts of tourists, blood from Mexican gang fights, and maybe me spitting into it in 1995.

I could go on...