[Sethomas]

So, I'm about to go to the bars. I'm wearing a shirt I like a lot. Long-sleeve button-down, jet black sateen made of 100% silk.

I feel like I should demonstrate my affinity for it with some crass hyperbole.

Dude, because of this shirt tonight I'm gonna get so much pussy that I'll wake up with more STDs than mainstream pathology presently recognizes. So many chicks are going to want me that we'll have to find a late night stadium that rents by the hour. Tomorrow morning, there will be significant shortages in the national supply of the "morning-after pill" because of me wearing this shirt. In the aftermath of my mental puissance coming together with me wearing this shirt tonight, the global average IQ will raise by at least two points as my bastards enter the population.