[derrida]

Name me a person in the last 50 years who had a Problem with an STD who wasn't gay, homeless, or some kind of weird hillbilly fuckup. Can I just say right now that if you are straight, middle class, and white in the USA you will NEVER have to worry about AIDS. Instead AIDS campaigns spend millions trying to reach college kids. (Is it basically a politically correct way of not singling out the gays? Yes. It is.)

Everything is pretty much curable or so insignificant as to be one of those funny little things about sex that we can all share a laugh about. Crabs are a fucking riot, cured with ballhair shampoo in half an hour and if you don't fuck a hot chick with crabs you are gay.

Even herpes isn't that scary. If you have an immune system like a normal person you will probably never get an outbreak. Besides, in order to get the stuff, your partner needs to be having an outbreak, and who wants to fuck when their funny junk looks like the face of a teenaged metalworker with a meth problem.

Fucking think about it: the snapper and its entourage of pussy flora have evolved to take dirty dicks all night and wake up in the morning smelling like a bright spring sunrise. How many dirty dicks have vaginas taken in during the course of natural history?

However, anal sex is still a great way to contract Hep C, which is bad. But this is still good because it lends an air of danger to the last taboo: getting fucked in the cake.