[jared]

"Quias ex proprio conceptu est ad aliud requirit fundamentum, non solum ut existet, sed etiam ut sit capax existendi, id est ut sit entitas realis," -- John of St. Thomas, in his commentary on the logic of Thomas Aquinas.
Just kidding.
I can't choose a favourite quote, but one I like that seems appropriate to you philistines is this:
"I gotta go to the shop and buy some condoms. And remember: NO SLAPPING!" -- Old Guy, in Sissy Boy Slap Party