What's weird about Bon Jovi is the fact that I DO AND want to listen to one of their albums, but all the songs I've heard over the radio feel as if they sum up the very experience of Bon Jovi.
Listening to a Sting Cheese incident (Fucking name should be String Cheese Incedentry, which I believe the most appropriate image would be a gas can with C-4 flowering from the spout, which should be presented on front stage after a String Cheese Incident concert and detonated) song and I can not tell if I'm listening to some art-house instrumental or if there are actual lyrics. I hear some, but I don't actually listen to them because of how fucking mumbled they are, and then I look at the cover art stamped on the youtube pic and I am curious as to whether they are attempting to be anti-pop or if they just think they're weird.
Addendum! Half hour later I find an Austen City Limits video. They just feel really terrible but horribly mediocre at best. What the hell are they? Jazz? It sounds like they try to "throw" stuff in but it's like a pro pitcher attempting a fast ball with the lightest packing peanut ever made. Someone help me here. What would be the best moment to actually enjoy this?
The Shaggs. HOLY SHIT. I thought "my pal foot foot" was trying to be an art fart. I've listened to four songs already and the only one that even sounded a bit musically composed was "Cutie" This shit is the Anti-Christ to Wesley Willis. THEY'RE NOT FUCKING DISABLED. THEY ARE NOT MUSICALLY TALENTED. YET THEY ARE RECIEVING MERIT FROM WONTON AVANT-GARDE DOUCHES. DECADES AFTER THEY ATTEMPTED THE BILLBOARDS. WHICH IS PRROF OF HOW MUCH THEY FUCKING SUCK. Fucking thank you Esuolhim. I can finally feel a personal foot hold in life knowing that I can absolutely and thoroughly despise a band with minimal effort on my part.