Today I was at a burrito place and was going through the line, noncommittal polite, and the burrito guy was trying to mack on this chick behind me. She had on these really tight gray yoga pants with a thong, and they were like 2 sizes too small so her ass stuck way out. He got so busy flirting with her that he forgot what he was doing with us and our food sucked.
Then he forgot to give us forks and when I went back up to ask for some he just tossed them at me, literally tossed them at me. And the girl wasn't even interested in him, she was out of his league. Probably trying to see if she could get a free meal or something, I don't know, it was a pretty fakey giggle.
And then later my dog chewed off a corner of my couch.
That was always my favorite goal celebration tune in NHL 95, and it wasn't until yesterday when my friend told me that it's based on Irish drinking song
the best irish drinking song is fuck you I'm drunk
fuck you I'm drunk
fuck you I'm drunk
pour my beer down the sink
I've got more in the trunk
fuck you I'm drunk
fuck you I'm drunk
and I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk