You're telling me...I used to have a mean old cockatiel and one time he got me right in that spot between my thumb and index finger. I swear he chewed. Even with my blood all over his beak, he wouldn't let go.
Looks like I gotta have sinus surgery since I have some kind of blockage up there, which is good and also sucks. I also have a deviated septum so they're gonna put tubes up my nose and make me deal with that for a week or so. Fun stuff. So if I'm not back after next Tuesday, you dudes be cool, cuz I'm dead, and probably haunting kitsa. Because I think she'd be the one to talk about me haunting her on here. Plus, no offense, but I think she'd be the most interesting to watch day to day.
Don't worry man, I'm not gonna be the kind of ghost who shows himself to your family. I'll just be the kind of ghost who hangs out and watches shit go down. And also I'll probably be rattling things and changing the channels of your tv to things I would rather watch. You can't be a ghost without rattling shit.
I just told one of my best friends that my final wish if I do die in surgery is that he names his first child Kevin Jr, regardless of it's sex. He refused. What an asshole. You can't deny the last wishes of a good compadre. So I made sure my roommate pesters him until he does it.
ATTENTION ADDERALL USERS (i know one of you dorks has a prescription for this shit)
How do I convince a Doctor that I need this stuff? I think I legitimately have good reason, whenever I'm on the stuff I get way more shit done and I'm much less distracted