Go Back   I-Mockery Forum > I-Mockery Discussion Forums > General Blabber
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 15th, 2011, 11:40 PM        Gayhound has gaybies
FUCK GREYHOUND/GAYHOUND

So i decided to take the gayhound because its only like a four hour trip with a 50 minute layover (MORE LIKE GAY OVER) versus Amtrak that has a 2.5 hour gayover and takes a bit longer i think. LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT I WOULD BE ATTACKED BY GAY HOUNDS WITH GAYBIES.
So I arrive at the bus station AN HOUR EARLY cause the stupid ticket says to do so even though you probably don't need to but i did it anyway. My bus is supposed to get there at 835 but OH NO THERES NOT ENOUGH FUCKING SEATS EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY BOUGHT MY TICKET AND HAD BEEN WAITING. So now I have to wait for the next gayhound which departs at about 1020 but it only has a 30 minute gayover so thats kinda sorta cool right even though I'm gonna arrive like an hour and a half later. right that's ok right? right? TEN TWENTY ISNT THAT MUCH LONGER EVEN THOUGH DUDES KEEP BEGGING ME FOR CHANGE AND SHIT. THIRTY MINUTE GAYOVER AINT SO BAAAAD

So the bus arrives at 1045. Luckily this time I'm first in line! The mute bus driver disinterestedly tears my ticket and doesn't appreciate my kind smiles or thank yous at all nor does he indicate which of the buses it is. but whatever, I guesstamate and I'm apparently right. Dude doesn't even announce on the intercom what the bus is for before it leaves cause he's so mute and bitter looking and shit. We leave at like 1055. THATS OKAY RIHT? RIGHT?
As we approach the gayhound station for my transfer i see the only bus in the parking lot leaving because it is now 122. When I get out I approach the mute hoping maybe there's a secret bus somewhere and if i hustle my ass i can make it, but apparently this is a mistake because gayhound employees are unapproachable and apparently don't know jack shit about anything and bitterly and with more anger than I thought possible in response to a simple question tells me to GO TO THE INFORMATION DESK.
HES NOT MUTE! HE JUST HAS THE GAYBIES! I didn't know that talking to bus drivers/gayhound employees and shit was against the gayhound LAW.

So I go inside to find the information/ticket desk which has an infinitely long line and I'm still thinking maybe i can find the secret gayhound. There's this dude there and i show him my ticket and he doesn't even really acknowledge me or anything he just writes [GATE] 8 on it. Apparently it is his unique job to direct people to the proper gate. You'd think these fuckers would see my ticket and be like, "OH MAN THAT SUCKS HOWD THAT HAPPEN" but no. Mute bitter fuckers everywhere.
So i ask him what's up with the bus,
"Hey is the 120 bus still here my bus was.."
"NO"
....
....
....
"Well when is the next one"
I can tell that this question totally pained him. I mean here the dude is with a job and this little piece of paper that has all of the schedules and gates on it and he really doesn't have much to do --I can just tell its tearing him up inside -- and he totally just goes, "I DUNNO 245 OR SOMETHING" without even looking the schedule.

at this point I'm a little annoyed so i go sit my shit down and am kind of wondering about my FATE. Also I kind of wanted to annoy this dude for blowing me off, so I decided to QUESTION HIM AGAIN.

I patiently waited for him to be doing absolutely nothing except maybe considering talking to his fellow gayhound workers, and then I approached him:
"Hey do you know when the bus to riverside will arrive at its destination?"
"WHAT TIME DID I TELL YOU WHEN YOU AXED ME"
"You said 245"
"THEN WHY ARE YOU AXIN ME WHEN IT HASNT ARRIVED YET"
"BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHEN THE BUS TO RIVERSIDE WILL ARRIVE AT ITS DESTINATION."

WITH THE ANGRIST RESOLVE/SIGH ever, he begrudgingly took five seconds to flip through his little schedule and was like, "345." I knew at that point that that man had the gaybies.

So I wait till 245 and go to gate 8. I can tell by looking at it that its not the right one cause its all, "SAN DIEGO" and shit or something which isn't where im going.
So i approach the guy thats taking the tickets and show him the gate 8 and ask him if thats the bus to Riverside and he's like,
"NO, WHERE WERE YOU AT 1215,"
which is when my first bus was going to arrive, and before i can even answer he's like,
"RIVERSIDES AT GATE 13 [YOU FUCKING MORON GO TO HELL], WHAT IS GOING ON WITH BLAHBLAHBLAH." CUSS WORDS MINE BUT WERE TOTALLY IN HIS TONE
So I go to gate 13 and its not open or anything and its not the right one either. OH LOOK ITS ACTUALLY GATE 14.

I arrived at my desination at 5 o clock.

GAYHOUND HAS THE GAYBIES. ITS AN EPIDEMIC. IT CAUSES SITUATIONAL MUTENESS, ACUTE ASSHOLEFACE AND A COMPLETE LACK OF AWARENESS.
FUCK THEM

ALSO MY FIRST THREAD ON THIS I CLOSED ON ACCIDENT CAUSE I WAS TRYING TO SEE IF IT SAYS ANYWHERE THAT SEATS ARE ON A FIRST COME FIRST SERVE BASIS. IT DOESNT SAY THAT ANYWHERE I SEE NOR DID IT SAY THAT ON THE TICKET OR IN THE BUS STATION ANYWHERE THAT I SAW NOR DID ANY OF THE MUTE SITUATIONALLY DEAF EMPLOYEES TELL ME SHIT ABOUT IT.

OKAY I SAW ONE THING BUT IT WASNT ANYWHERE YOU WOULD NORMALLY LOOK OR IN THE TICKET PURCHASING INFORMATION AND IT WASNT REALLY ABOUT FIRST COME FIRST SERVE IT WAS THAT YOU COULD GET PRIORTY TICKETS.
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #2  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 15th, 2011, 11:55 PM       
can a mod please edit this thread so that it says, "Gayhound has the gaybies."

OR IS THAT ASKING TOO MUCH

actually which way is catchier

nevermind i guess this ways prolly catchier
__________________
NEVER

Last edited by kahljorn : Apr 16th, 2011 at 06:17 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Sam Sam is offline
The Unicorn
Sam's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2003
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 01:45 AM       
BETTER TAKE AMTRAK NEXT TIME.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #4  
captain516 captain516 is offline
Amicable Herculean
captain516's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: looking for a decent cheeseburger
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 02:45 AM       
gaybies put their pacifiers in the other end.
__________________
Evil Robot Rules
Don't Try To Deny This Fact
Or You Gonna Die
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Zhukov Zhukov is offline
Supa Soviet Missil Mastar
Zhukov's Avatar
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Tasmania
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 02:48 AM       
See if you can't puncture some of their tyres.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #6  
All Hail Duke All Hail Duke is offline
aint nobody
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 05:00 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain516 View Post
gaybies put their pacifiers in the other end.
nice
Reply With Quote
  #7  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 05:27 AM       
yea i like how i can ask amtrak employees stuff and they don't start foaming at the mouth and also that they are capable of reading
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Supafly345 Supafly345 is offline
Slim Goodbody
Supafly345's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: More like DIEwan
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 06:00 AM       
Like half a decade ago I really hated kahljorn, now I think he's pretty damn cool and I want to hang out with him.
__________________
"Quote from some guy I think is funny."
-Some guy I think is funny
Reply With Quote
  #9  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 09:15 AM       
Kalhjorn is the coolest to hang out with.
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Chojin Chojin is offline
was never good
Chojin's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 1999
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 09:24 AM       
can someone bottom-line the op for me
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Kitsa Kitsa is offline
teacup of sunshine
Kitsa's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: curator of the WTFbus museum
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 10:33 AM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
can someone bottom-line the op for me
mad at buses
Reply With Quote
  #12  
WhiteRat WhiteRat is offline
Beloved Cunt
WhiteRat's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: San Antonio, TX
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 12:19 PM       
My brother and a friend took a greyhound from Minneapolis to New Jersey round trip about 10 years ago. Never again, they said. Never again would they let themselves or anyone they even remotely cared about make such a trip for the Greyhound bus line was satan himself.

On the way back the heat broke on the bus near Pittsburgh (february) and several miles down the road the bus driver pulled over and walked away from the bus due to the amount of threats he was getting from cold and angry passengers. The bus sat on the side of the road for 45 minutes as the bus company had to drive another driver out to their location. According to him that was just one of many reasons not to take the greyhound ever again. They said the trip was agonizing.

My brother (16 at the time) said the one bright spot was polishing off a bottle of gin with some crackhead on the way back.
__________________
...and so Hurley said: "Get your money, man. Don't be no couch potato hustla."
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Esuohlim Esuohlim is offline
BOO! A SPOOPY GHOST :x
Esuohlim's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: TO-DO LIST: WATCH TWIN PEAKS. CALL MOM.
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 12:30 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin View Post
can someone bottom-line the op for me
It's worth the read though it smacks of old-school i-mock threads where people didn't humorlessly whine about tanks running dry
__________________


YOU MUST SPREAD SOME REPUTATION AROUND BEFORE GIVING IT TO SAM AGAIN
Reply With Quote
  #14  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 05:21 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chojin
can someone bottom-line the op for me
WHY YOU AXIN ME WHEN YOU HAVENT EVEN READ IT YET

Quote:
Originally Posted by White Rat
My brother and a friend took a greyhound from Minneapolis to New Jersey round trip about 10 years ago. ....
i was on the phone with my ex after that guy was being a dick (AND I WAS ALL LOUD AND STANDING PRETTY CLOSE TO HIM) and she was telling me all kinds of fucked up stories like that that she saw on consumer complaints. Including that if you act like dicks to them they'll deny y ou service (even if you're in the middle of nowhere) and forcefully search your bags and call security and get threatening and shit like that.
also when i started talking shit to my girlfriend about that guy he started acting nicer to people
__________________
NEVER

Last edited by kahljorn : Apr 16th, 2011 at 06:35 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Tadao Tadao is offline
☆☆☆☆☆
Tadao's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2002
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 07:32 PM       
I've never had a problem with Greyhound. I've seen other people have lots of problems, but I usually do just fine.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
elx elx is offline
Mocker
elx's Avatar
Join Date: May 2009
Old Apr 16th, 2011, 07:38 PM       
did everybody already forget about this grey hound occurrence?:

Quote:
According to witnesses, McLean was sleeping with his headphones on when the man sitting next to him suddenly produced a large knife and began stabbing McLean in the neck and chest. The attacker then decapitated McLean and displayed his severed head to other passengers outside who had fled the bus in horror. The driver and two other men attempted to rescue McLean but were chased away by Li, who slashed wildly at them from behind the locked bus doors. Li then went back to the body and began severing other body parts and consuming some of McLean's flesh.
__________________
Hey elx, your sig is too big. 400 x 100 pixels is the limit, son

-MODERATOR MILHORSE
Reply With Quote
  #17  
10,000 Volt Ghost 10,000 Volt Ghost is offline
SKATASTIC
10,000 Volt Ghost's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Old Apr 17th, 2011, 12:43 AM       
Haha. Yeah, that sucked for that guy.
__________________
God speed you meddling kids.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 17th, 2011, 01:15 PM       
Honestly it wasn't that bad it just annoys me how stupid they all are and then that they are dicks about it. And also that they tried to act like it was my fault.
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Fathom Zero Fathom Zero is offline
frappez le cochon rouge
Fathom Zero's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: cancer
Old Apr 17th, 2011, 06:36 PM       
Took a Greyhound to Lollapalooza two years ago. Crackhead next to me stole my wallet.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: NO
Old Apr 17th, 2011, 10:27 PM       
yea i kinda felt like all the ex-cons around me were eyeballing my laptop and wallet and phone i kept everything of value in a bag by my feet which was looped around my feet and it still didn't feel like it was enough
__________________
NEVER
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

   


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:46 PM.


© 2008 I-Mockery.com
Powered by: vBulletin
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.