Impress me with your injuries.

[Kitsa]

Thank you. I was supposed to be good. It was expensive enough.

mumblemumblewastedivyleaguerazzafragga.

I didn't graduate though, I had to leave, so go to a doctor who graduated. My job is food art now. My family is so proud!

Anyway, I'm glad you got seen. Gastro problems can cause all sorts of weird symptoms.

[Kitsa]

Today I stepped on one of those cacti with the long needles. Said long needles went straight through my foot.

Not only did the initial puncture wounds suck mightily, but they also itch like a mofo. And then at the base of each needle there are hundreds of those tiny, red, stick-to-you spines that are almost invisible but feel like walking on glass shards. I worked on cleaning up my foot for about an hour and I STILL feel new ones every time I step down.

Not the best day I've ever had.

[kahljorn]

it went all the way through your foot?

[Kitsa]

Each needle was about an inch and three quarters long, and it went in to the hilt (far enough for the mini-needles at the base to also lodge in me). It didn't go in at the bottom and come out through the top, no. I have two or three punctures in my toes and a few on my foot just in front of the arch. It was similar to stepping on a nail on a board, but more the size of a needle.

I must have stepped on them just the wrong way, because I've always assumed that the needles would break off. I stand corrected.

Because I had a tetanus shot in the last 5 years, I just bled them out the best I could and cleaned them with alcohol, then slapped on neosporin and bandages. Bleeding is really a nonissue now, it's just the itch and those fucking little invisible red spiny things.

[ThrashO]

I felt this deserved to be here. Kitsa, your cactus story sounds terrible, but be happy you're not this guy:

[EDIT]: DONT WATCH IF YOU'RE A PUSSY

[Kitsa]

extremely happy I'm not that guy. Although, I've kind of got to say, wtg bull.

[Kitsa]

Right here, this is the very fucker that got me.

[Grislygus]

I've managed twenty three years and one night as a passenger in a nasty car wreck, a portion of my childhood of biking through hilly Oregon backwoods (without SUPERVISION OR SAFETY GEAR OMFG) and ROUGHHOUSING, two years dune buggying, four years around constant knife use and electric meat slicers, two years wrestling, three years of pummeling over other people and getting pummeled in water polo and many more years of miscellaneous physical exertion without ever being injured outside of a single kitchen burn accident

After finally reading this thread I can only assume that I have superpowers

[Grislygus]

and that's not even counting a year in woodshop

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Kitsa

Right here, this is the very fucker that got me.

Jesus. That thing is poking me through the foot right now, and I'm only looking at a photo.

[Kitsa]

The needles are nothing compared to those little fuzzy hairlike things, those things stick in you like porcupine quills.

[k0k0]

I had one of those go into my foot as a kid and I still remember it. I remember my friend at the time being a bigger kid who was a bit of a bully. He was kicking cacti with his well reinforced boot and told me to go ahead and try it. I had canvas shoes, but being a 5 year old I went ahead stupidly. It went through as far as it would go. I screamed and cried. I remember his older sister having to pick those little fuckers out of me.

[Kitsa]

let us all agree that cacti are foul and dastardly fuckers.

I used to have the same opinion of them I have about crossing-the-train-track accidents. That is...the train doesn't hit you out of the blue, you know where the tracks are, easy enough to stay away. Then one day I was walking through a mall and a fucking kids' christmas train came whipping around the corner and got me on the shin. When did they decide that shit was too good for the little circular track in the middle of the mall?

[kahljorn]

MY EX STOLE MY PET CACTUS

FUCKING CUNT

[Evil Robot II]

I was on patrol in afganastan when we were ambushed. It was a well cordinated attack they must have been using teamspeak. We tried to fight back but they had us completely spawn camped. There were identical bodies everywhere, the blood and bullet holes disapearing but the ragdoll physics leaving soldiers in obscene poses. Face to ass, hand inside torso, I had seen one poor guy whose whole upper body was clipped right into a rock wall leaving him staring into a groundless flashing oblivion. On his bent over back was another body left twitching in a way that no priest would want to administer last rights on.

Now I see why the military forbids taking screen shots of the dead.

[replicant]

I am pretty accident prone with my feet.

When I was 4 or 5, I was playing in the yard. No one had cut the grass and had left a metal lawn chair folded up in the grass. I did not see it and ran right over it. I cut my foot wide open. I ran into the house. My aunt poured a bottle of iodine on it. I couldn't walk on it for 3 weeks.

In my junior year of high school, I stepped on a needle that was somehow embedded in the carpet in my bedroom. No idea where it came from. It broke off in my the base of my foot near my toes. I had to get surgery in the triage of the hospital. When they stuck my foot with the Novocaine needle i screamed so loud my mother said the people in the waiting room got quiet and were scared out their gourds. I had to walk on crutches for weeks. Not fun at all.

One time I was riding a bike around a brick fountain. I lost my balance or something and slammed into it. Dumb me was wearing sandals. Tore the flesh off my toe. Not all of it but enough that it was pretty painful and nasty looking.

I expect to have hip issues when I get older because I have fall three times on stairs that wrap around at the bottom. Somehow I have managed not to break bone.

[k0k0]

You need to pay someone to carry you everywhere.

[replicant]

Yeah, I have been wondering if I should do that too. lol

[Sam]

I JUST STUBBED MY TOE, OW!

[Kitsa]

THAT CERTAINLY SUCKS, SAM, BUT I AM PLEASED TO SEE THAT IT HAS NOT INTERFERED WITH YOUR STEADFAST DEVOTION TO CAPS AND ONE LINERS.

[Colonel Flagg]

I rammed my foot into a blanket chest when I was trying to get to bed and somehow managed not to scream bloody murder. Just thinking about it makes my foot twitch.

[Sacks]

The other day I got this really horrendous papercut from the side of a sheet of sandpaper. It's not really horrific so much as unbelievably unpleasant.

[kahljorn]

my armpit itches ;/

[Colonel Flagg]

Originally Posted by Sacks

The other day I got this really horrendous papercut from the side of a sheet of sandpaper. It's not really horrific so much as unbelievably unpleasant.

OMG PAPERCUTZ R TEH WORSE!!!!111

[Sam]

GUYS I STUBBED MY TOE AGAIN NO KIDDING.