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glowbelly · #26

OH NO I HAVE BEEN CALLED A CUNT! THAT'S NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE

mburbank · #27

Well, he said "nether regions" to me. He likes me better. Seriously, say something clever again, Shut Up.

Oh, you know what? If you're going to say 'walking' in a sentence? You can say 'perambulate'. ISN'T THAT SO COOL!? And instead of chew "masticate" which is really funny, cause it sounds dirty. TRY IT, CYNDI!!

glowbelly · #28

now, now... don't "upbraid" the "puerile" lad too much, maximus. he probably just wants to give us all "osculations."

slavemason · #29

I think the story went more like:
Shut up was trying to make his co-worker laugh with a big loud fart and he shit his pants. Feeling and smelling like a complete idiot, he put his Tommy Hilfiger boxers in his Nancy Drew back-pack so no one would find his dirty little secret.
That or Choice A or C from Burbank's choices.

James · #30

You know, ever since Les Waste's comment, I keep expecting Shut Up to fight back with random DBZ pictures.

Les Waste · #31

"Nether regions"

We are truly dealing with a mental titan here.

Shut Up tries to impress people by misusing big words. Obviously, he is black.

"You see officer, the reason the citation got out of hand is because my conpatriot here in the back seat of my automobile-car was unroareously laughing, which percepitamated in me existentially manoovering my ventrical, by which I mean my automobile-car good sir, into that street light. I assume you, I am not untoxicated on beer, officer."

mburbank · #32

OMG, YOU FUCKING XENOMORPHIC BIGGOT!

Les Waste · #33

GO BACK TO ISRAEL

McClain · #34

In Shut Up's defense, I think that if the situation provided itself (and I had a general hatred toward someone) I might do the same thing. You know, putting a puddle of feces in a backpack sort-of thing.
However, if I told a bunch of people what I did on an internet message forum and they didn't go "HAHAH LOL ROFLMAO SMILEY FACE HA" I wouldn't cry like a little bitch. Shut Up, shut up.

GnrySgtHartman · #35

Quote:

"You see officer, the reason the citation got out of hand is because my conpatriot here in the back seat of my automobile-car was unroareously laughing, which percepitamated in me existentially manoovering my ventrical, by which I mean my automobile-car good sir, into that street light. I assume you, I am not untoxicated on beer, officer."

I think a comedian wants his joke BACK

pissed off salesman · #36

well at least now i know who to bash in my next art contest submission

Les Waste · #37

WELL TOUGH SHIT CAUSE I'M NOT GIVING IT BACK

sadie · #38

shut up is a monkey child.

MrAdventure · #39

PARTNERS FOR LUNCH.

Ninjavenom · #40

I think Shut Up is Winton's character, used to forbear his triumphant return!

....i wish.

Shut Up · #41

I used to think I-Mockery was a place who would welcome my baby shit story with welcomed arms. But now I see such high-brow humor is not understood here.

FS · #42

I don't doubt that this story really happened. But was the cast of characters the same...?

Say, Shut Up. Did you ever get the stains out of your backpack?

mburbank · #43

He's right you know. Our 'welcomed arms' are not as opening as they used to welcome with upon the high brow of babyshit.

kellychaos · #44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shut Up

Next time I'll be sure to remember to weigh the baby shit prior to putting it into the backpack. You know, just so I know exactly how much babyshit we're talking about here.

Better yet, why don't try and guestimate the quantity inside your skull and when the next haul that comes in that matches the weight and density, you can do a switheroo. The old stock needs some refreshment.

Anonymous · #45

You two should get married.

LegoLars · #46

shut up, that was lame. you bitched enough already.

mclain. YOU ARE MY I-MOCKERY HERO!

Rez · #47

burbank and glowbelly saved this thread.

i laughed a lot.

Rez · #48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shut Up

Once while working a summer job at a kid's arcade this little toddler had an attack of diarrehea over by the ski-toss area. He was wearing shorts and the syrupy shit ran all down his leg onto the floor.

The boss wanted me and one of my co-wokers to clean it up. So we busted out the cleaner, mop and vaccum and were about to do as told when my friend suddenly remembers this kid that nobody liked left his backpack in the backroom. So we took it and crammed about eight pounds worth of discolored baby diarrehea in it. All over his clothes. His CD's. Everything. It smelled like a skunk had crawled inside his backpack and shit and puked all over itself before dying.

So the kid comes back later, takes his backpack without suspecting anything, and walks down the entire boardwalk while totting around a nice load of babyshit behind him. We laughed for the rest of the day, and laughed even harder when he relayed the story back to me the next morning.

I don't know why I told you this story. I don't like any of you and would not hesistate to put babyshit in your backpacks or mouths if I got the chance. Little fucks.

pissed off salesman · #49

[quote]YOU FUCKING SUCK YOU STUPID IDIOT and you brobably were made to eat that shit by your gay dominatrix/slave boyfriend, not put it in some fuckups backpack

Quote: