A peculiar thing happened today

[Zomboid]

Lately I've been pretty sick. The symptoms are diarrhea, head aches, sneezing, coughs, and sore throat. Well, this morning when I was about to have a shower, I realize I have to pee. Since I'm not too keen on standing in my own urine while showering, I went over to the toilet to let it rip. I'm completely naked, the shower is running, I'm standing in front of the toilet, and I'm cold. It takes a couple seconds to relax, but when I do, I start peeing happily. Pretty soon I get a familiar feeling that often comes up when I'm peeing. I have to shit too. Not just any shit, but diarrhea. I can feel the remaining solid turds in my bowels liquefying. No big deal. I keep pissing, knowing that when I'm done, I'll just turn around and sit down on the can and let loose a brown explosion.

Then it happens.

I sneeze. It loosens up my entire body and I cringe because I know what's coming next. Before I can prepare for it, a chunky brown stream spurts out of my ass and splashes onto the rim of the toilet bowl and the floor.

I clean up the toilet and the floor before I hop into the shower to wash any residual feces off of my lower half.

One of the most interesting, funny, and disgusting mornings of my entire life.

[Fathom Zero]

Now you know the value of two toilets.

[MattJack]

I thought this thread was going to be about you falling in the love with the Wii and giving up Xbox360

I hope I never get the shit sneezes man

[Pandajuice]

Thanks for sharing Zomboid, my life is a little bit darker now.

Actually, I've always had the lingering fear that, when really ill, I'd need to vomit and shit at the same time. I still haven't worked out how I'd accomplish that inevitable problem without making a huge mess.

[Pub Lover]

You sit back, spread your legs & vomit through the gap.

[Guitar Woman]

[Colonel Flagg]

Ditto - uncontrollable . The imagery is something I will take to the grave.

[BurntToShreds]

I laughed, but at the same time, I died a little inside.

[Terra]

I think Zomboid has figured out a new way to chat up the tootsies.

[terrva]

So, one could say that the sneeze took the shit out of you!

[Durin]

Originally Posted by Pandajuice

Thanks for sharing Zomboid, my life is a little bit darker now.

Actually, I've always had the lingering fear that, when really ill, I'd need to vomit and shit at the same time. I still haven't worked out how I'd accomplish that inevitable problem without making a huge mess.

You sit on the toilet with a trash can in your lap. And I speak from personal experience, sadly.

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

Wow. That's a pretty shitty experience.

I once punched a guy in the face and he shit himself, but I've never shit myself.

I'm sure it will be routine in about 20 years.

[Kitsa]

You were born for poopreport, zomboid.

I hope you feel better soon.

I have a poop story involving a yard sale, an old woman and $300 in damage. Remind me to tell you sometime.

[Angryhydralisk]

Ain't that some shit.

[T-Rex]

My friend claims he was laying on his side while puking and had projectile diarrhea. The two oposing propulsions from his mouth and ass were so great, that his whole body began spinning like a merry-go-round.

I think they did this experiment on Mythbusters once.

[argonath]

Fortunately you had the shower going already.

I have been so sick that I blacked out after puking and standing up too fast, fell, hit my head on the bathtub, and diarrhea-crapped my boxers. Pooping's fun until you uncontrollably do it outside a toliet. . .

[Terra]

Good God. I'm getting too old for this sort of shit.

[Schimid]

I love T-Rex.

Not exactly about poop, but while on the subject of gross-out stories, I have a very weak stomach and back in middle school, me and about six of my friends went to a carnival and went on about five horizontal spinning rides in a row, and finally we got into one of those spin-the-middle-platform things shaped like a giant bear. About halfway through the ride, I can feel myself going, I told all of them to stop, stop, please, oh, please, stop. They didn't listen.

In frustration, I vomited all over the center table as it was spinning, projecting vomit onto all of my friends. Afterwards, my best friend, who only vomits at the smell of vomit, attempts to climb up the wall to get away--and vomits over everyone else in the car, from the high ground. We left and told the carnie we'd be back to help him clean up. We left.

I am petrified by rides that spin on a horizontal axis.

[Sam]

That story would have been incredible if you had shat instead.

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

Originally Posted by Schimid

In frustration, I shat all over the center table as it was spinning, projecting shit onto all of my friends. Afterwards, my best friend, who only shits at the smell of shit, attempts to climb up the wall to get away--and shits over everyone else in the car, from the high ground. We left and told the carnie we'd be back to help him clean up. We left.

That does make it even more incredible...

Poor Carney as well, I can completely relate...