Apr 27th, 2003, 01:34 PM
Last Story
I have only two more weeks of my creative writing class, and the second to last project is to simply create a short story. I decided to rewrite a short story in did for my English class my junior year. When I made it, people said they liked, yet those people knew me so I didn't get as good of feedback as I can possibly get. So before i turn in something that could be a peice of crap, I wanted to see if regular joe's like you think it was a story.
A Modern Day Malice
Like an another fairy tale love story, Laura looks onto Robert. The only diffrence is that Robert can't notice. Lifeless but alive, another coma victim, another vegetable. Drugs put him there, and know drugs are keeping him from not dying. He's been in life support for over 13 months, there has been constant thought of just pulling the plug. But Laura wouldn't have none of that, she wouldn't let them kill him, no, not them.
"Is there anything I can do?" said the chubby nurse with wide eyes filled with insincere concern.
"You could...Wake him up." replied Laura
Laura has always been known as a basket case, a shady loner for most of her life. Neglected by her parents and shunned by her peers, her only divine fulfillment was Robert, who was two, a lonesome wander who just happen to miss a bus to bump into her one day. It's been a Romeo and Juliet tragedy ever since.
Who knows if it was love or if it was friendship, none seemed to care, no one seemed to noticed, so they could just go merrily along in those delightful shadows that they dwell in. But their drug filled gloomy ways finally showed a final frown. Robert was out, and it seemed like it bee that way. Laura used to be adapted to a seclusion world. But now that she has tasted the fruit of companionship, she will starve to death with out it. Maybe she was better off not knowing him at all. Maybe everyone would have been better off...
Laura faith got dimmer through out the months, each day grew longer and longer, and Robert's parent still kept up life support for that suicidal little bitch he has been with, they're rich not compassionate. Sooner or later something had to give, when Laura found out that they were planning to take him off the life support, she went simply barmy, mad out of her own closed mind. Not that anyone cared, except Larson.
Larson Jakes was Robert's only other friend, and drug provider. Larson can't help but feel somewhat responsible for what happen to him. And comes to Laura's need as Robert's final hours are being set.
"It's total bullshit Laura, I know he's gonna get back up on his feet, they just have to wait dammit." Larson said in a sad undertone.
"I KNOW, I KNOW, OH GOD HOW I KNOW, I CAN FEEL HIM I KNOW HE'S THERE....AND DAMN THOSE UNGRATFUL BASTARDS KNOWN AS HIS PARENTS FOR EVEN THINKING OF KILLING HIM!" screamed Laura.
"Please Laura, calm down, I know this is tough"
"OH IS THERE NO SOULS IN THIS WORLD, SELFISH DEAMONS ROAM THE STREETS, DO THEY CARE, DO THEY CARE!"
"LAURA! JESUS, JUST SHUTUP FOR A MINUTE!"
"There is nothing I can do for him, not a damn thing" Laura cries and she puts her head on Larson's table with is cover in dust.
"Maybe not to save his life," mutters Larson, Suddenly Laura's head pops up somewhat lifted by confusion. "you could at least get back at those parents, and do Robert righteousness"
"To get back at them, anything." says Laura with dark eagerness.
"You kill Robert, so they can't"
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING..."
Larson put his hand over Laura's mouth and continues with his proposal.
"Here me out please, he's gonna die anyway, they're not going to let you do it, so do it before they could"
"Oh if I had the strength to look at him, and then pull the plug to meet his demise, I care too much for him, even if they asked I couldn't do it"
"Then don't look at him, so to speak, don't pull the plug, pull the trigger" Larson pulls out a gun and hands it to her.
"Oh god, I-I-I-I...."
"You could, look if Robert would want anyone in the world to kill him it would be you, it's the last thing you can do for him, just close your eyes and shoot".
"How in hell am I gonna get a gun into a hospital" Laura says with disbelief
"I'll take care of that, even though it';s not that hard"
"BUT DAMMIT, it's still murder, and I would get Life or even Death for this" Laura begins to cry again.
"You think you're the only one facing jail time, I've been selling dope man, for all this all this time, I have hideouts and connections that no federal bastard could find, I can make you appear to disappear from this earth forever, even though your doing a good job now." Larson says with a smirk on his face.
"Yeah....funny, so how is this going down, how will I release Robert from this wretched Earth?" Laura says.
"Okay, I'll go to the hospital at 3 p.m. and get everything set up, I'll hide the gun in a trash on the second floor where Robert's room is. Then I will wait in a car, packed up and ready to go, you will come at 4 for your regular visit, you do what you have to do, and then will disappear before they can catch us, I promise"
"Why are you running Larson?"
"I got in major shit with this man name Earl Higgins, I ended up breaking both his left arm and hand, and I'm damn sure he's gonna bust me, so I have to go away for a little while too. So it works out perfectly"
"I don't know if kill the only man I ever loved "perfect"." says Laura
"It's the best we can do now, let's clear our minds for now" says Larson pull out some of his finest dope and a bottle of beer in which Laura reluctantly accepted.
The first part went without a hitch, Laura found the gun buried in the trashcan in the second floor of the hospital. She then walks looks for room 223, Robert's room, she gets there but is puzzled, she could of sworn it was the one at the end, maybe she should of got so messed up last night with Larson.
The door is closed slightly, her mind begins to go a mile a minute and her heart races, is she gonna make it out, is she gonna get caught, can she really kill him, all these questions have popped up in her mind. But she believes it's want Robert wants and that he will be grateful for having someone as gracious as her to kill him. She is such a loon.
She closes he eyes and whispers "Goodbye Robbie" and enters the room trying to make out where to aim. She fires 3 times. Each one a fiery tear for Robert. Curiosity overwhelms her, and she has to see if she has done it, she can't take it. Her eyes open, and she gets faint.
Robert wasn't there, it wasn't Robert, it was an old guy, and she didn't miss, she killed the wrong person, she killed the wrong person.
By now the security enters to apprehend her, she was there too long and she was too weak too run. Poor, poor, poor Laura. You should of never met a man like Robert, you would have been much happier, cause if you wouldn't have met Robert you wouldn't of had met me.
I, Larson Jakes, or should I said Alex Martin, or should I say Nathan Barthom, or should I say any of my other alias, have manipulated this you girl. And she has been manipulated well, like a fine played game of chess. Oh Earl, you should of never refused to pay, you should of never threatened me, if you just played the game you wouldn't of gotten hurt, and if you didn't cooperate with the police, I wouldn't of switch the room numbers around to the one of that psycho bitch's boyfriend. You will forever be the Tragedy of Room 223, or 224 or be really correct. No bother to switch them back I have just enough time to get away, I think I heard another shot, I bet she killed herself, I guess that means I can work here still for another time..
Two days after the incident,
Robert wakes from his sleep in the nick of time, a modern day miracle.He has been broughten up to speed, and he has a very good memory than most coma victims. He is miserable, he can remember Laura, and she's dead along with Earl. The facts are unknown on why she killed him and herself. There's been some problem with the messed up room numbers, but that has been taken car of. The only person that know the truth about shy she killed him is dead, except for..
"Robert?"
"Larson, oh my god, it's damn good to see you man"
"Yeah me too. Hey, I guess you heard"
"Yeah, why the hell am I punished this way..." He begins to cry, like Laura used to.
"Look man, I have to tell you something about Earl, the guy she shot, Laura told me before she died that she wanted revenge" I say
"On who?"
"This man name Earl Higgins, the mother fucker raped her, and she came to kill him, and she succeeded, but he depression overwhelmed her, over the murder, over you, and she just let go of herself"
"God damn." Robert sighs.
"There was two people that raped her though, Earl Higgins and a man name John Terris. The two fitly slobs, she was able to hurt Earl, that's why he was in the hospital, I don't know about you, but we gotta get John, for Laura."
"I couldn't agree more, I'm gonna torture that asshole to his last breath"
"I will talk to you tomorrow about it , until then keep healthy buddy" I said.
What a tool, another pawn for another play. I'm gonna feel real damn sorry for John, what happen to Earl is gonna be a field day compare to what is in store for him, no one ever steals from me. Cause when they do I have my own misguided hitmen to deliver a modern day malice on your souls. I always thought that the perfect murder, is the one you don't commit.
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This is probably my last post also, I'm kinda busy these days, and I'll be in Seattle for the rest of the some, and I won't have Internet capabilities with me. I had fun (as much fun as you can have posting on a message board), and maybe I'll come back someday. Until then, goodbye.
As for the story, there a many grammical errors that I have yet to fix, this is just a very very rough draft and I'm looking for comments on the story itself. Thanks in advance for your good or bad criticism.
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