Features

Rongi · #26

Edit: fucking double post

Skulhedface · #27

Getting back to the original topic:
1. Find shiny, trimmed, oblong bludgeoning weapon, a "club", if you will
2. Shine club up nice and neat, as to be socially presentable
3. Shine yourself up, as to be socially presentable
4. Walk out into the world at large
5. Find human-type object with breasts (guys only, unless you ladies dig fat dudes)
6. Using bludgeoning weapon, bring overhead and down towards the earth in one mighty swinging motion, putting all your forward motion into it
7. Knock other person unconscious
8. Grab other person by the hair
9. Drag home to cave
10. This is all up to you. Give her flowers, shag her 'til her ears bleed, lay her on the floor for an ornamental rug, or just wake her up and say "I was kidding."

disclaimer:This post is NOT intended for you out there who have no sense of humor, i.e. the people who feel the need to react negatively toward anything and everything. Thank you for tuning in.

sadie · #28

i'm imagining using that club you described to crush the largest bones in your body.

Skulhedface · #29

Quote:

disclaimer:This post is NOT intended for you out there who have no sense of humor, i.e. the people who feel the need to react negatively toward anything and everything. Thank you for tuning in.

Might I add emphasis on, well, THE WHOLE THING?

And you guys want to yell at the NEWBS for not getting a joke.

Royal Tenenbaum · #30

That was a joke?

Skulhedface · #31

You betcha. So is anyone that took it seriously and felt obligated to post about it in that same vein. Tsk tsk tsk.

MrAdventure · #32

OH I GET IT SADIE IS A GIRL SHE MIGHT BE OFFENDED.

sadie · #33

yah! that's it!

Skulhedface · #34

That too.

I was more or less thinking "Anyone without a sense of humor that lacks the cognition to give me the benefit of the doubt and realize that it was intended as humor"

If that's so hard for you to grasp, how the hell did you come to I-Mockery and get accepted in the first place? Some secret initiation I didn't know about? Is this also the same way you got through your freshman year?

MrAdventure · #35

SADIE MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE A MAN SO YOU CAN GET HIS "JOKES"

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT I FOUND THAT DREADFUL AND WOULDN'T WISH THAT ON ANYBODY

Skulhedface · #36

Oh, the head hurts....

I didn't know such people existed. Now I know. Next time I'm in a World Civ class, I can write about the Land Of The Humorless.

MrAdventure · #37

MAYBE YOU SHOULD WRITE A REPORT ON BEING NICE TO WOMEN SO I WOULD KNOW THAT YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS ABOUT BEATING WOMEN

Skulhedface · #38

Or maybe you could watch The Three Stooges. I believe they had not one, but TWO episodes about being cavemen in which they did the exact same thing. And were they not happily married for 25 years IRL?

Also, since this plane apparently flew MILES above your heads here...

Yes, that little original post was describing a CAVEMAN ritual. True or not, who knows, but Pop Culture says it happened this way. Who HASN'T heard stories about cavemen bringing mates back to their caves this way?

And, in case you STILL DON'T GET IT, it's a sarcastic way of saying that if you truly found this funny, AND NOT IN A SARCASTIC WAY, THEN YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN SAID CAVEMAN.

Jesus, didn't you people watch CARTOONS as a kid?

I thought you guys were good at subtle humor.

MrAdventure · #39

THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN EXCUSE A WOMANIZING WIFE BEATER WOULD MAKE

Skulhedface · #40

lol. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

MrAdventure · #41

STOP CALLING ME A ****** PLEASE, IF IT MAKES YOU HAPPY YOU CAN USE YOUR TIME TO BEAT WOMEN INSTEAD OF CALLING ME A ******

sadie · #42

HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'VE GOT A SCARY HALLOWEENY ID. AND I SPEND SO MUCH TIME EXPLAINING MY OWN STUPID JOKES THAT I DON'T RECOGNIZE ANYONE ELSE'S.

MaskedMonk · #43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skulhedface

Dude, that totally looks like he's brushing his teeth, it's clearly not a dick.

Anonymous · #44

YOUR DAD BRUSHED YOUR TEETH A LOT WHEN YOU WERE A KID, HUH

MaskedMonk · #45

um... your MOM was brushing my teeth pretty good last night... IN BED!!!!

Anonymous · #46

You already used one whopper of a mom joke in the other thread. The rules of netiquette say that an attack that devastating can only be used once every 24 hours.

You uncouth cat's ane.

Skulhedface · #47

Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.... everything here is a joke. Sadly that includes you. Tsk tsk tsk.

Halloweeny? Go to a record store, brat. Find an album by the band called GWAR. Read back of said album.

This is fun!

But a little nitpick...shouldn't it be "Your mom was brushing HER teeth"? Let me explain... if it was your teeth, then his mom watched you brush your own teeth... bad mental image.

I'm not trying to be insulting, just correcting.