Weekly Movie Review: Transformers

[executioneer]

the transformers suck, you guys

they always have

[D-MoN]

Yeah they did suck but they were entertaining. I think that's why I liked the movie. It had lazers and robots that looked somewhat realistic. I think it was just that old school fans couldn't accept the fact that the cheracter designs really fucking sucked. I can prove it.

[ponchochris]

The movie wasn't bad because it was a big advert or a storyless constipated-looking-giant-robot orgy, it was horrible because THEY TORE JAZZ IN HALF! I cried. Alot.

[Neen]

The best part: THEY'RE MAKING A BUTT-UGLY CARTOON BASED ON THIS MOVIE ON CARTOON NETWORK!

A shitty show, based on a movie, based on a show, based on a toy line, and in the style of Teen "Fucking" Titans

Ah, ha ha ha!

[Fluke]

Mediocre at best. Didn't make me gag too much but easily forgettable.

[stonewar]

A bad review from a trusted source, read the synopsis on TheMovieSpoiler.com. I guess I can take it off my Netflix queue now.

[Jonny#5]

My biggest gripe about this movie is that it's impossible to make out what's going on. It's like watching NASCAR!

[Protoclown]

D-Mon: I never said anything about the characterization in X-Men; I said that X-Men was a good example of how to balance a large ensemble cast. X-Men has its flaws, but I actually find it enjoyable despite them, and I'd take it over this garbage any day. And as a long time reader of X-Men books, I can assure you that Sabretooth doesn't amount to much more than a growling ape in the comics.

And Megan Fox is alright, I guess, but she looks kind of average to me. Certainly nothing to write home about, and in no way capable of coming anywhere close to redeeming that shitbucket of a movie.

Autrach Sejanoz: I had wondered if perhaps I wasn't being too generous by giving it one whole pickle, but then I considered the fact that I have seen worse. So it doesn't quite belong on the bottom of the barrel. Close though. Damn close.

I've enjoyed reading everyone else's thoughts on the movie as well! Based on the kind of response I've seen and heard on the internet, I figured I was in the minority on hating this one. Glad to see that's not the case.

[saturnknight]

they called wave "frenzy" because the concept of spundwave wasn't working out, so they changed the name. they're planning on using Soundwave in the 2009 sequel. and aparently Devistaor as well

[Desert_Screams]

Peter Cullen voicing Optimus Prime = much excellence.

Everything that wasn't the above = much eye-stabbage.

[D-MoN]

Actually I always found Sabretooth to be one of my all time favorite villians. Namely because when you hang around with bikers and shit in real life he comes off as all to believable. No long winded speaches, just kicking ass and taking names. I was a long time reader of the X-Men. Even the shitty writings of Chris Clairmont couldn't scare me off.

As for X-Men being balance? How? I need to know HOW. Apart from Wolverine and Professor X the remainder of the X-Men were reduced to bit parts. Now the sequal did it a bit better despite the fact that I was drunk one night and caught an episode of Mad About You that was more X-Men then the first X-Men movie.

X-Men and Transformers actually have a lot in common except for the fact that X-Men sucked. Apart from that, Transformers had.. well.. A-10 Tank Killers. Those plains are so fucking cool and that avenger cannon is just really cool to watch! And it had Abrams tanks and Predator Drones and.. OK enough drooling over military hardware. At least Transformers was written with some level of understanding of the source material at hand. X-Men couldn't even be bothered. WHERE THE FUCK WAS WOLVERINE'S MASK?! Ahem.. sorry.. anyway Transformers was better because at least it was believable and Shia LaBouf was genuinely funny and entertaining which is more than I can say for any of the cast in X-Men barring Professor X and Magneto.

What I think most people forget is that it's a summer, popcorn, action movie and yet so many of the hardcore fans went in expecting Waiting For Godot. Like somehow, in those fractured, virgin minds, Transformers was the modern equivalent of Shakespear. It wasn't. It never was. The concept was borderline stupid but it worked out cool because we all liked the cartoon and toys but it was hardly gospel. Essentially the movie delivers exactly what the cartoon did only with more whiz-bang. Unfortunately those who are even bigger nerds than me will never comprehend that because to them, every stupid, redneck cliche Ironhide uttered in the original series is like divinity made cheap japenese animation.

[jayberwocky]

Thank you Protoclown, thank you for finally putting into words what I've been feeling about this movie.
I went with my brother to see this movie, and he loved it while I sat through it cringing and groaning at all of the crap that we as an audience were expected to just "take." Does anyone really believe that if a car just "shows" up at a car dealership that the dealership owner will just sell it outright? No questions? You don't want to see the title, registration, anything? Really? After seeing this I will never park in a dealership to browse cars again. My car'll be sold out from under me and I'll have to buy another car with shattered windows...

[Hurude]

I went to see transformers with my girlfriend and her two younger brothers, i was very apprehensive but I hoped for a nostalgia trip,


What a shower of shit,


I was so angered by the film I couldn’t resist giving the two-finger salute to Michael Bay's name at the end of the film, something I shouldn't have done in front of two children.

I suppose in that way it did revert me back to being a kid again.

[Tetsu Deinonychus]

Originally Posted by D-MoN

What I think most people forget is that it's a summer, popcorn, action movie

I just want to point out that I really HATE"summer, popcorn, action movies".So, I don't see how that's much of a defense. I mean if that's what you like, enjoy. But, to me, it just seems like the exact reason not to bother with it.

To Protoclown:
Don't worry, you're not alone in hating this movie. Wes at Scary-Crayon wrote a very scathing review, himself. I think you'd enjoy it. You can also check out the accompanying Blog-entry for more thoughts on the movie.

[BurntToShreds]

I really wish a lot of you people would take your Nostalgia Goggles off. Seriously. And Neen: I actually think that show has potential. Starscream blew up Megatron in the very first episode. It already has Grimlock and the DinoBots, and Grimlock has a flaming sword. And Soundwave? He has a guitar. Which transforms into Laserbeak.

[BurntToShreds]

It has some other another thing going for it: It's not a 30-minute toy commercial.

[JakeOfAllTrades]

I saw it with some immature buddies and enjoyed it then, because I wasn't a hardcore fan of Transformers, ever. I liked the idea of Transformers better than the show itself, and my brother has an Optimus Prime without flames on it in his room (it's the Anniversary version of the TV show Optimus). I agree, American Piesque humor has no place in a movie about Optimus Prime, but at least they didn't make it completely serious and just plain awful instead of a one-watch summer blockbuster.

But there's bad news for other franchises of yore: Michael Bay is said to be remaking the Nightmare on Elm Street movies. That would just be a crime!

[choHIlqoq]

Slaggin' Bayformer Gobots.

[professork]

Ah michael bay...I don't mind so much that you raped my childhood (I liked transformer toys but never really got into the cartoon that much)...nor do I mind that you foisted megan fox into the spot light (she has big breasts, it was bound to happen)...nor am I particularly upset about the upcoming freddy remake (I'll say it now and take my licks...after freddy 1, he annoyed the living shit out of me)...but what really pisses me off is that every single one of your mind fuckingly tedious shit heaps of movies makes more money than all the rest combined, and that you constantly prove that old adage "nobody ever went poor underestimating the taste of the public"...because of you and your ilk, and society in general there are so many decent films and scripts that will never get greenlit because how can they compete...its all spectacle, there is nothing beneath the skin...so now I have to put up with my nephew (who I dearly love) forcing fucking transformers down my throat all the goddamned time...fuck you, michael bay, fuck you