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  #1  
Mockery Mockery is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 02:52 AM        "ALBUMS THAT SUCKED: FABIO!!!"
Here it is people... the one I've been waiting to share for quite a while now. I may never be able to find an album so insanely bad yet unintentionally hilarious. Yes, the king of romance novel covers himself, Fabio, actually released an album a while back. And now, now I have the pleasure of unleashing it upon all of you. Read, listen, and learn about the ways of love... with Fabio!


ALBUMS THAT SUCKED: FABIO - "AFTER DARK"
http://www.i-mockery.com/bad-albums/fabio


Enjoy!
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  #2  
jin jin is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 04:04 AM       
Fabio - About Romance is now the ring tone on my phone. :O

That album is fantastically awesome. :O
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  #3  
soundtest soundtest is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 09:13 AM       
Oh SHIT I've been wanting to hear this for a long time now. I read some interviews with Fabio about his music career where he said such fantastic things as "The song is a solo, but I hear a duet..." and where he described his home stereo system: "I have speakers that will blow your clothes off..."

I can't wait to get home and listen to this - thanks -RoG-!
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  #4  
Spectre X Spectre X is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 09:16 AM       
Still, Fabio is pretty rad.

He posed for video game covers, for Christ's sake.

EDIT: I don't know what I'm doing, by the way.
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  #5  
sundragyn sundragyn is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 01:54 PM       
Did I get some defective hormones or something?

I totally don't get Fabio.
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  #6  
kahljorn kahljorn is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 06:10 PM       
He's ugly and stupid, and popular. Like paris hilton, he has that same D movie appeal.
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  #7  
bigtimecow bigtimecow is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 07:37 PM       
the cd has the same beat throughout the entire thing. and all he does is talk about his egyptian dead dick and how he needs a woman to cure it.

i hate you.
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  #8  
EverythingWillSuck EverythingWillSuck is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 09:44 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectre X
He posed for video game covers, for Christ's sake.
I got a copy of Iron Sword II in full packaging at some store. It included a two-sided poster, one side with a full-blown Fabio and the other with various Acclaim games. So now I've got a poster of Acclaim games on my wall.
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  #9  
HickMan HickMan is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 10:30 PM       
I couldn't listen to the whole thing. It was just too much for one sitting. I swear these are the little things in life that make it all the spicier.
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  #10  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Jul 11th, 2005, 11:45 PM       
hahahahahhaha :<
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  #11  
sadie sadie is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 12:53 AM       
great writing. and funny as hell, but i could only get through a few stanzas of two of the songs. the really funny thing is i'm sure we all know some people who actually would get turned on by this.
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  #12  
soundtest soundtest is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 02:08 AM       
...like this woman who is devoting her life to Fabio and is head of the Fabio "International Fan Club". She actually won a date with him in a charity auction for $16,000... and apparently he postponed it for like a year, cancelling about a hundred times.



http://www.fabioifc.com/

More Fabio pieces RoG!

Quote:
Date of birth (location): 15 March 1961, Milan, Italy FABGIFS/fab_butter.gif
bullet He is still single
bullet Height: 6' 3" Waist: 32" (STILL!) Chest: 48" Size 48 Jacket. Biceps 18" Weight 220lbs (And nice to hug!)
bullet Eyes: Blue (crystaline, fascinating)
bullet Hair: Black - streaked and lightened to blond and sholder length

He introduced the fragrance "Mediterraneum" by Versace. (And it was wonderful!)

Pets: Great Danes, an occasional goldfish. His dogs have a maid to take care of them.

Favorite film (last time asked): "Dances with Wolves"
Bored with TV - but has several.

Likes off-road driving; dirt bikes. Enjoys life. Owns several cars. Likes comfort, speed.

Drinks - WATER - no coffee, beer, alcohol! Prefers healthy food. NO DESERT (there is a rumour that he likes pecan pie!) He used to drink coffee - but no more. Won't take medication. Careful about what goes into his body. Very health-conscious. Seldom ill.

Does NOT cook - likes to hang out in Italian cafes. Insists on getting 12 hours sleep a night! Doesn't like it when his schedule interfers with this!

Has enough audio equipment to "wire the moon" - and speakers that will "blow your clothes off". Also plays with video editing gear. But is not on the web!

Wacky sense of humor. Beautiful smile. Polite enough to make you cry.

His current passion - the animated TV series THOR - it's been his pet project for several years and it just may finally be happening! Check out our THOR page.

Work out: one to two hours a day, five times a week or every other day, two major muscle groups per day. Also 30-45 min per day on an stationary cycle while watching TV. Refer to his fitness tape and book.

Watches: CNN, "Saturday Night Live", "In Living Color:, "Live with Regis and Kathie Lee"

Originally known as a model for romance novel covers. Actually, he was modeling before that. The first novel cover he posed for was HEARTS AFLAME in 1987. Refer to the Cover List. Romantic Times Center Piece Ad for Topaz Dreams - as Falcon

The first romance he co-authored is titled PIRATE. Followed by VIKING, COMMANCHE, ROGUE,etc. (Historicals), then DANGEROUS, WILD (comtemporary). The last one was MYSTERIOUS. Refer to the booklist for the others.

Spokesman for "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter". Occasional public appearances. Occasional TV commercials. Latest - Wickes Furniture. Look for the ICBINB cookbook in October 1999.
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  #13  
pjalne pjalne is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 07:14 AM       
That bird picture is perfect.
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OMFG_BULLET OMFG_BULLET is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 07:20 AM        oo
i cant believe its not about butter...
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  #15  
!!!! !!!! is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 12:40 PM       
who would have thunk it
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  #16  
Meat Jello Meat Jello is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 02:26 PM       
Fabio is the poster man of single, slightly confused guys everywhere!

When i get up in the morning i look at my fabio poster and it inspires me to "Get going! Live your life! Maybe someday YOU can land a career in margerine and get hit in the face by a pigeon on a roller coaster!"
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  #17  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 02:27 PM       
shut up
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PILLOWFIGHT PILLOWFIGHT is offline
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Old Jul 12th, 2005, 06:31 PM       
i would love to read this thread but i cant because its in the wrong forum!
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OMFG_BULLET OMFG_BULLET is offline
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Old Jul 13th, 2005, 04:24 AM       
i just learned there is no need for the letters oo in the subject thing. i am very happy.
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  #20  
Yggdrasill Yggdrasill is offline
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Old Jul 13th, 2005, 04:47 PM       
I can't get past that name: FABIO!

If you say it out loud ten times in the moonlight and you have a legitimately obtained copy of Fabio: After Dark, YOU WILL FIND YOUR TRUE LOVE THE VERY NEXT DAY!
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  #21  
Ramco Ramco is offline
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Old Jul 22nd, 2005, 09:29 PM       
This album does worse than suck! I mean, I can pop in Hulk Hogan's CD for a good laugh every now and then but after Fabio I feel immasculated and downright creepy. I've listened to it through the whole way and the only way to preserve my sanity is to get some observations out on the table.

"And dee only music is dee music we make togetharr."
If it's anything like the music on the album I would want to get as far away from Fabio as I could...

"Fabio: On Humor"
I was expecting this track to be more entertaining, like a collection of Fabio's best jokes!

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"FABIO!!!"

"I like nawthing bettor than to surprise my lady weeth a plane teecket, and a toothbrush, and her bikini."
Any woman would be surprised to find Fabio wearing their swimsuit, clutching a toothbrush and rambling about going to the Maldives.

As we all know, every woman wants to be Fabioed...
Fabio! Fabio! Fabio!
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  #22  
Schimid Schimid is offline
...for breakfast?!
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Old Jul 22nd, 2005, 09:39 PM       
SILVER POLISH!
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  #23  
Mike Mike is offline
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Old Jul 22nd, 2005, 10:35 PM       
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramco
after Fabio I feel immasculated and
...ummm. How were you hoping to feel "after Fabio"?
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  #24  
Chojin Chojin is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2005, 04:18 AM       
Don't mind Mike, new guy. He's still around for pretty much the same reason that the law requires stores have to have handicapped parking spaces.
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  #25  
Ninjavenom Ninjavenom is offline
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Old Jul 24th, 2005, 05:04 AM       
There's a reason that being nice to the crippled is a relatively new concept. Have you ever seen a guild of barbarians with a wheelchair-bound Nord in it? Hell no. Mike, my friend, you are THAT wheelchair-toting, bearded cripple who doesn't realize he does not exist.
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