NEW FEATURE: "TEN THINGS I LIKE ABOUT RETURN OF THE JEDI!"

[Mockery]

Wrapping up his "favorite things" series about the original Star Wars trilogy, here's what Proto found to be the best things about Return of the Jedi. It's a trap!


NEW FEATURE: "TEN THINGS I LIKE ABOUT RETURN OF THE JEDI!" -by Protoclown
http://www.i-mockery.com/minimocks/returnofthejedi

Enjoy!

[jack_the_ripper]

So Obi-Wan Kenobi actually made Luke kill he's own father, who he thinks is killed by Darth Vader, who really is Luke's father? That man is a real fucking bastard... And why isn't Jar Jar on the list?

[Protoclown]

Have you ever seen Star Wars?

[Alive]

I've seen life, i know that

[mburbank]

Proto, I don't know if I'd put this in for this movie since it's sort of a culmination of "revenge" and this one, but I've always liked how it turns out Yoda, the big time Jedi Master, was wrong about everything.

Luke not ready? Turns out he was

Remember your failure in the cave? Well, since he didn't end up killing Vader, and therefore killing himself, I guess his failure foreshadowed... nothing.

Don't give in to your emotions and rescue your friends? Well, apart from costing him a hand, how much did his going to sky city mess things up? Hmmm, not at all?

I guess when you combine him being totally wrong about Luke with the fact that Yoda was Jedi Master during the time when every child Jedi in training got slaughtered, maybe Yoda doesn't get to be in the Jedi Master hall of fame.

[jack_the_ripper]

Originally Posted by Protoclown

Have you ever seen Star Wars?

Yes, i have seen it a long time ago and i didn't it like that much, so i don't remember all the details. Actually i enjoyed Star Trek movies much more. And of course, the original ST series rocked. And yeah, princess Leia hentai is the greatest. (The best smiley ever...) But i think that the best Science-fiction movie i have ever seen is The Dark City...

[J. Tithonus Pednaud]

I was always under the impression that the littlte droid was being branded, not tortured.

[Zomboid]

Originally Posted by mburbank

Proto, I don't know if I'd put this in for this movie since it's sort of a culmination of "revenge" and this one, but I've always liked how it turns out Yoda, the big time Jedi Master, was wrong about everything.

Luke not ready? Turns out he was

Remember your failure in the cave? Well, since he didn't end up killing Vader, and therefore killing himself, I guess his failure foreshadowed... nothing.

Don't give in to your emotions and rescue your friends? Well, apart from costing him a hand, how much did his going to sky city mess things up? Hmmm, not at all?

I guess when you combine him being totally wrong about Luke with the fact that Yoda was Jedi Master during the time when every child Jedi in training got slaughtered, maybe Yoda doesn't get to be in the Jedi Master hall of fame.

Ahh this is why I like max :O

[MarioRPG]

I couldn't read past #2. Not yet.
I was really sad when the Ewok died. Just because the living one was like "come on let's go *tug tug*"

[Guitar Woman]

That was the best one yet!

[Dr. V]

I don't see why "It's a trap" wasn't included. Yes it's become nothing more than internet-icon fodder now, but every time I ride Star Tours, I still yell it up at the flight command area.

[Angryhydralisk]

This movie tripped me out when I was a kid too, but in a different way. Because of Vader's robot suit, Leia's shiny gunshot wound, and Luke's robo-hand, I thought the entire Skywalker family.......WERE CYBORGS!

Either way, I can't wait to read articles on the prequels, just because negativity is like a magnet for comedy. Plus you point out the most awkward things.

[Protoclown]

Hydralisk: Yeah, I try to point out odd things that some people may not have noticed. Of course, I throw a few obvious ones in there too that I just HAVE to talk about. So I'm kind of looking forward to what I come up with on the prequels too, because right now I really have NO idea. I just know that I'm going to have to watch them again. And that hurts me.

Volshurawitz: I thought about including "It's a trap!" but like you say, it's all over the internet now so it didn't seem worth pointing out.

Pednaud: You might be right, but given the fact that they're burning his feet when Threepio and Artoo first walk in and they're doing it again when they leave seems like more than they would need for a simple branding.

Max: I love that shit you pointed out...classic!

[mburbank]

They are definitely 'torturing' the droid, which indeed screams in anticipation, and maybe because I was older than you guys, it totally took me out of the moment. There I was, deeply absorbed in the fantasy and in an instant, I'm sitting in my chair saying 'Well, that is beyond stupid."

Similarly, I agree with Proto that the teddy bears with stone age weapons sustaining a single casualty against an army of stormtroopers was ridiculous and could have been easily cured by killing most of them. Say 90% which still would have been being nice about it.

[Angryhydralisk]

Proto, you've got guts. Except maybe Ep. III, I don't think I could sit through the prequel trilogy again. That's just masochism.

[Blue Gularis]

Protoclown,

I enjoyed that a lot. Just last night I caught the tail end of it on one of the movie channels but had to turn it off and have a couple of shots of tequila when the world music beat of the furry convention hug fest started. I also thought Bib Fortuna and the Twyleks were interesting.

For me the movie's most memorable moment was the awesome revelation that Darth Vader-


was actually....



-Uncle Fester!

Vader-


-Fester



Vader-


-Fester!


....and I remember the terrible dawning realization throughout that the "third" Star Wars movie was sucking and that I was going to have to face my grief in the cold light of day- appropriately enough Mount Saint Helens had blown up while we were watching it and when we came out of the theater in Olympia WA it looked like an A-bomb had gone off... and we took comfort in that!

***a moment of silence for a shattered childhood dream***


Also, I cannot thank you enough for the Dead Ewok GIF, I will treasure it always. If you don't mind I might like to make it a bit smaller and use it as a forum sig. The ewoks were an abomination unto God and Man. Sadly the original Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back are the only true gems in a cheap plastic crown of zirconiums.

By the way, I noticed you mentioned that you have an "..unhealthy interest in green-skinned girls..." There is absolutely nothing wrong with that-

It's perfectly healthy to be attracted to the exotic-



Perfectly-

healthy...



I have to go now.

[Angryhydralisk]

That's kinda like, oh I don't know.....


Ethan Hunt resembling...


Herman Munster!

[Protoclown]

You know, I thought about making a joke about the green-skinned girls from Star Trek, but decided to leave it out. One guy emailed me and said I should've mentioned them too though.

[Blue Gularis]

Originally Posted by Protoclown

You know, I thought about making a joke about the green-skinned girls from Star Trek, but decided to leave it out. One guy emailed me and said I should've mentioned them too though.

You can not go wrong with green skinned Star Trek girls.

[JediScum]

Now I don't feel nearly as bad for being sexually aroused by John Byrne's She-Hulk now, uhh... I mean, when I was in junior high school.

[Eyelobe]

This is my favorite of the series. Most people my age love Empire, but not me. Growing up in the 80s, I needed the ridiculous optimism of this one. Of course the Ewoks kick ass!