www.newsmax.com/blowitoutyourass/GOP/winin04
Kerry expected to announce Ex-Iraqi dictator as runningmate
3/10/04
Newsmax.com
Sugar Land, TX-- In an unexpected move by the Socialist Workers candidate John F. Kerry, very reliable sources at FOX News, the Weekly Standard, and NEWSMAX.COM have learned that Saddam Hussein will likely be announced as Marshall Kerry's VP runningmate within days.
When asked about the decision, moderate intellectual Grover Norquist said he was hardly surprised. "It makes perfect sense," said Norquist. "The Democratic Party has been sliding on a slippery slide of 'slurpyesque' Socialism since the days of Andrew Jackson."
Others were more to the point. "Kerry clearly likes totalitarianism. I mean, look at his record of appeasement and neglegence. He's a draft dodger who obviously wanted 'Nam to go Red," stated American war hero, and FOX NEWS consultant, Oliver North.
But Kerry's selection of Hussein raises some other problems. Some are left wondering where this leaves the Democratic Party in America. "This is NOT the party I joined," whined fat whiney whine bag, Zell Miller. "At first I was distressed that he'd choose a straight-up Communist like John Edawards or Harold Ford, JR. When I heard it would be HUSSEIN, I nearly changed my party registration." Miller went on to lament the decline of the good old days, when honorable southern gentlemen such as George Wallace, Orville Faubus, and Strom Thurmond ruled the day.
When asked for comments on this troubling appointment, a top Kerry aid (who of course requested strict anonymity) downplayed the move. "Look, despite his flaws, President Hussein has YEARS of executive experience. I mean, he was
President Hussein, right? And the guy was an electoral machine. He never lost. Senator Kerry feels he can only gain from a runningmate and close friend like Saddam Hussein."
The White House could not be reached for official comments, however Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld took time from a Bush/Cheney Sa'ud family fundraiser to comment on this shocking news. "This is no surprise to me," sighed Rumsfeld. "Anybody who could associate with a blood-thirtsy monster like Saddam Hussein deserves nothing in life, ESPECIALLY a high profile position in the White House."
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