Mardi Gras and I

[MattJack]

I go to Mardi Gras every year. For those of you who have never been, I'd like to share a couple of pictures because I deeply, deeply, deeeeeply care about yall on here. *

Before we get started I'd like to just go ahead and say there aren't any pictures of me without sunglasses. This is because I am blind in both eyes completely. All I see is black, it sucks. Luckily I have a braille keyboard and my monitor has this sweet braille switch on it that allows me to communicate with yall. *


So let's get started!





Here is a buddy and I. He's in a beardcore band, so don't freak out! We were getting ready!



Before I went onto the streets, I had to make sure the laws of physics were still working! DONT WORRY! THEY STILL ARE!


Now let's go meet some folks!


Here is The Kanggg and I. He is a Saints fan. Who knew?



Here is a big happy guy. (insert funny caption)



After that it was time for another drink! And what better place to get a drink than..



The VooDoo Mart! Shrunken heads? Bones? Old blind black women telling fortunes?
Nahhhh just booze, cigs, and really over priced shit for dumb tourists!

Onward!


Hey look, it's a float. That is cool, right? They throw beads, you catch them. That is about it.


Night came soon and I was feeling funny..
Maybe there WAS something with that VooDoo Mart afterall!


Oh noes! We got turned into little black kids smoking! SHIT IM SORRY VOODOO MART IM SO SORRY.


Luckily I met this guy who transformed me back.


Sir Lawrence Craig Adams! He was this crazy old bum I met on the river.


Then I hung out with some Christians!


"YEA FUCK YALL SINNERS! YALLS GOIN' TO HELL!" Praise God.



I even met some super heroes!


Captain America was cursin and it was crackin me up.
I was all, "Capn Murrica don't curse!"
Green Lantern was there too, I think he went to go get a drink though.


I didn't see any arch villains though... wait...
Do you know who DR DOOM IS?!!?!


Well this is Dr. Blunt, his brother.




This girl didn't move, speak, blink, or even breathe! I didn't think soul mates existed in life. God I was wrong. I miss you baby.


"IS THERE A DRUMMER IN THE HOUSE?!"


Why yes, yes there is! I don't know what I was playing, but I'm sure that shit was funky.



I don't remember wanting to give oral sex to any man in my life til I met this fella. All he said over and over as he walked down the street was, "Jesus Christ!..... Superstar!"
Go ahead say it with me, "Jesus Christ!.. (1)...(2)..Superstar!"







Sure I met a lot of cool people, but I danced..




..I exercised..



...and I even hung out with the drunk homeless!




All in all, I had a good time!




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Ah Mardi Gras 2k7. What sweet memories!

*You're a fucking douche

[Goat Cheese]

[DeadKennedys]

I remember those damn Hand Grenades. Shit's good. Did you find the Huge Ass Beers?

[MetalMilitia]

did you see naked boobs?

[SKATERMONKEY]

He didn't see.

[MattJack]

Originally Posted by DeadKennedys

I remember those damn Hand Grenades. Shit's good. Did you find the Huge Ass Beers?

Yeah fuckin hand grenades are delicious! And yes, I saw like 64oz bottles of Bud Light and Miller Light. I stuck with hurricanes, hand grenades, and Jack (of course). When did you go? Where all did you go?

Originally Posted by MetalMilitia

did you see naked boobs?

Oh of course. A lot of people don't realize that you see a lot of naked boobs that you really wish you didn't see. I still have a few burned into my pupils.

Do yall have anything in the UK that is basically just an excuse to get trashed? I bet St. Patricks is the shit in Ireland. Minus all the mean and drunk Irish.

[Immortal Goat]

Actually, St. Patrick's Day in Ireland is the one day of the year they DON'T get trashed. It's a solemn day of prayer. At least on the Catholic side.

[sloth]

Every day is binge drinking day in the UK!

St Paddy's Day is pretty fun, they usually have deals on Guinness and all the Irish come out of the woodwork to tell you stories and show you their tattoos. Probably the best is Christmas Eve though, because everyone goes to the local pub. The atmosphere is amazing and you don't get any strangers, it's great for getting absolutely shameful.

[DeadKennedys]

Originally Posted by MattJack

Yeah fuckin hand grenades are delicious! And yes, I saw like 64oz bottles of Bud Light and Miller Light. I stuck with hurricanes, hand grenades, and Jack (of course). When did you go? Where all did you go?

I went may of last year to work on houses and stuff. Pretty much we got one free night so all of us went to bourbon street and got hammered before stumbling back to camp.

[zeldasbiggestfan]

Could you see before or were you always blind? Im interested now.

[GADZOOKS]

Ladies and Gentelmen, Zelda's biggest fan!

[Terra]

tell us about the anal beads. how did you like those?

[MattJack]

Originally Posted by Immortal Goat

Actually, St. Patrick's Day in Ireland is the one day of the year they DON'T get trashed. It's a solemn day of prayer. At least on the Catholic side.

Wow, didn't know that. Raised Catholic and we never did any solemn prayers really. lol. Then again, we weren't Irish.

Originally Posted by sloth

Every day is binge drinking day in the UK!

St Paddy's Day is pretty fun, they usually have deals on Guinness and all the Irish come out of the woodwork to tell you stories and show you their tattoos. Probably the best is Christmas Eve though, because everyone goes to the local pub. The atmosphere is amazing and you don't get any strangers, it's great for getting absolutely shameful.

Yea that 's cool. I don't like Guinees though, is it ok if I like ale better? I'd still go though.

Originally Posted by DeadKennedys

I went may of last year to work on houses and stuff. Pretty much we got one free night so all of us went to bourbon street and got hammered before stumbling back to camp.

Sweet dood, thanks for helping us out.I worked for FEMA and they were the most useless bastards ever, fuck them.
Yeah I can believe the Bourbon Street thing mainly because it is its main purpose. Good times huh?

Originally Posted by zeldasbiggestfan

Could you see before or were you always blind? Im interested now.

Yea until I was about six years old. I kept crying, "Mama! Mama(ala ray charles movie)!" and my eyes' tears made me go blind. Luckily now, I have this braille shit that makes me kick it with cool doooodes like you Zelda (why not be LINK'S biggest fan? That player totally broke boys off in those games. Zelda was a trifle'n elf if I ever seen ones.)

Originally Posted by Terra

tell us about the anal beads. how did you like those?

The anal beads weren't so good this year. They weren't really big enough to stimulate your never ending abyss hole of hell, but i'll cross my fingers for you next year, babe. They were cheap though, good value.

[Terra]

Originally Posted by MattJack

The anal beads weren't so good this year. They weren't really big enough to stimulate your never ending abyss hole of hell, but i'll cross my fingers for you next year, babe. They were cheap though, good value.

they didn't work for you? next year try the beads BEFORE you rush into being anally ingressed by the homeless, babe

[Schimid]

Man, guys, I don't know what I'd do without breasts.

[MattJack]

Originally Posted by Terra

they didn't work for you? next year try the beads BEFORE you rush into being anally ingressed by the homeless, babe

Terra, please just stop. I mean if you were funny or had some type of "zing" to your remarks, I wouldn't really mind. Hell, I can take jokes and I laugh at myself all the time. The least you could do is photoshop me getting hit by a bus or making out with a man.

Instead you say things like this:

Originally Posted by Terra

numbnuts, you reached pretty far back just to find that old shot. keep gazing at your ass hair though. it's the most productive thing you've done around here yet.

I mention that I'd rather look at my ass hair grow than to hunt down and respond to everything you type. I like how you really turned it around on me. Oh noes, what to posts nowz?!

Originally Posted by Terra

I have nudie pictures on the net. reallivedeadanimals.com told me they'd trade their free space with me if i'd just trade some naked pictures and my dignity.

This one really caught me. I don't know why you'd share that piece of information with the board. I mean, I guess a few posters on here will be like, "OH WOW TERRA CAN I SEE?! I MEAN I REALLY LIKE YOU AND I CANT SEE NAKED WOMEN (OF ANY HIGHER CALIBER THAN A VOMITTING BARBERA WALTERS) ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE INTERNETZ. OH DONT TEASE!" But I did chuckle when I read you had nudies on the internet.

Originally Posted by Terra

An sample sized jar of petroleum jelly, both of Cosmo's fists and feet, my canyon

This went on for I dunno, 3 pages?

[Terra]

i love it when cumquats like you get all riled and fill a partial page with justification and commentary.

there will be more pages than that in loveline btw. man, only three? i better get to work!

[noob3]

cumquats!

[Chojin]

mattjack reminds me of this kid i knew in high school and he's totally cool too

[Cosmo Electrolux]

My mom would let me skip classes in high school to go to Mardi Gras..I went three years in a row...great times. Mardi Gras in N.O. should be mandatory for all Americans at least once in their lives

[MattJack]

Originally Posted by Cosmo Electrolux

My mom would let me skip classes in high school to go to Mardi Gras..I went three years in a row...great times. Mardi Gras in N.O. should be mandatory for all Americans at least once in their lives

Hell yea, your mom is the shit in my book man. In Louisiana we got that Mon-Wed off for school.

Right. I think that if it's mandatory to watch a baby come out of a woman in biology, mardi gras should be mandatory to balance that experience out.